Courtesy of www.MegaSpankings.com
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Interview with a Real Life DD Couple
Mark and Isabella have been practicing domestic discipline in their marriage for several years. In their household Isabella is the HOH head of household. She didn't always know that her husband had strong desires for discipline, however. In this exclusive free full video you'll hear their story. This interview and others are a part of Mega Spankings - a comprehensive spanking video website.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Why DD is Not Outdated
Many people believe, namely those not practicing DD, that the concept of Domestic Discipline - whether it be Loving Domestic Discipline, Christian Domestic Discipline, or any other form of DD - operates on outdated beliefs and puts women down. Quite the contrary!
First, let's take a look at how this disillusioned belief set came to be. It resulted mostly from the feminist movement. As a supporter in many respects of feminism, the lives of women have been greatly improved because feminism brought out the injustices that many women suffered for centuries. Injustices such as lower paying jobs, sexism, financial dependency, unrealistic and unfulfilled life roles, and undermined women's intelligence - among other things. One of the interwoven practices of these belief sets was that women had to be dominated by a man, HOH, in their relationships. The feminist movement changed all that. But that isn't to say that many of these practices were all bad. It was kind of like throwing the baby out with the bath water.
Feminism was an important and needed part of history. It gives women opportunities and choices, it even fends off abuse in some cases, and provides them with legal protection when their rights are infringed upon. Many websites and blogs out there on feminism state, either overtly or covertly, that Domestic Discipline contradicts the entire belief system of feminism and derails the progress women have made in their relationships. This isn't true. Here's why:
First and foremost, those in a DD relationship of any sort are in one consensually. If it's not consensual then the lines of domestic violence are started to be crossed, but that isn't what this article is about so that's all I'll say about that right now. Both parties have to agree, and if DD is practiced sanely there are many discussions and perhaps even written and signed documents outlining what DD means for that couple. Mutual consent is key in any type of relationship that makes use of power "play" or power exchange. My husband and I lovingly joke with each other that "the sub is always in control" of the relationship (I love bratting him by saying "I have the pussy therefore I make the rules" ;-). It's true, the submissive has as much of a voice as the HOH does, and even has the option of discontinuing the DD agreement or relationship. How, when, and the manner of which they go about it has an impact. The goals of Loving Domestic Discipline is an example of this.
Secondly, and not so ironically thanks to the feminist movement, women are now taking on the role as the HOH. There are a good handful of couples out there where the females in the relationship are the ones who set the tone of the relationship, lay out the rules, and apply discipline when needed. This has also opened up the door for couples who are into switching roles, or sharing the power for checks and balances.
Thirdly, living a domestic discipline lifestyle does not mean that anyone has to be a submissive in everyday life outside of the home. Women are certainly equals in the workplace, in sports, etc. In fact, many successful women find a bit of comfort in knowing that they don't have to lead the charge at home when they do so in their other relationships or businesses. And many submissive men in this lifestyle feel the same way; they find relief from having to run a household when the face so much pressure in their careers or elsewhere in their life.
There is a trend emerging, or should I say re-emerging, that resemble the old fashioned household, perhaps just with "updated" beliefs about how DD should or can work. Next week I will share with you a video excerpt from an interview of one couple where the HOH is the wife.
Comments and discussions are always welcome. I try to respond to each comment, but I am one of those busy *successful* women who find the repose in loving domestic discipline :-)
First, let's take a look at how this disillusioned belief set came to be. It resulted mostly from the feminist movement. As a supporter in many respects of feminism, the lives of women have been greatly improved because feminism brought out the injustices that many women suffered for centuries. Injustices such as lower paying jobs, sexism, financial dependency, unrealistic and unfulfilled life roles, and undermined women's intelligence - among other things. One of the interwoven practices of these belief sets was that women had to be dominated by a man, HOH, in their relationships. The feminist movement changed all that. But that isn't to say that many of these practices were all bad. It was kind of like throwing the baby out with the bath water.
Feminism was an important and needed part of history. It gives women opportunities and choices, it even fends off abuse in some cases, and provides them with legal protection when their rights are infringed upon. Many websites and blogs out there on feminism state, either overtly or covertly, that Domestic Discipline contradicts the entire belief system of feminism and derails the progress women have made in their relationships. This isn't true. Here's why:
First and foremost, those in a DD relationship of any sort are in one consensually. If it's not consensual then the lines of domestic violence are started to be crossed, but that isn't what this article is about so that's all I'll say about that right now. Both parties have to agree, and if DD is practiced sanely there are many discussions and perhaps even written and signed documents outlining what DD means for that couple. Mutual consent is key in any type of relationship that makes use of power "play" or power exchange. My husband and I lovingly joke with each other that "the sub is always in control" of the relationship (I love bratting him by saying "I have the pussy therefore I make the rules" ;-). It's true, the submissive has as much of a voice as the HOH does, and even has the option of discontinuing the DD agreement or relationship. How, when, and the manner of which they go about it has an impact. The goals of Loving Domestic Discipline is an example of this.
Secondly, and not so ironically thanks to the feminist movement, women are now taking on the role as the HOH. There are a good handful of couples out there where the females in the relationship are the ones who set the tone of the relationship, lay out the rules, and apply discipline when needed. This has also opened up the door for couples who are into switching roles, or sharing the power for checks and balances.
Thirdly, living a domestic discipline lifestyle does not mean that anyone has to be a submissive in everyday life outside of the home. Women are certainly equals in the workplace, in sports, etc. In fact, many successful women find a bit of comfort in knowing that they don't have to lead the charge at home when they do so in their other relationships or businesses. And many submissive men in this lifestyle feel the same way; they find relief from having to run a household when the face so much pressure in their careers or elsewhere in their life.
There is a trend emerging, or should I say re-emerging, that resemble the old fashioned household, perhaps just with "updated" beliefs about how DD should or can work. Next week I will share with you a video excerpt from an interview of one couple where the HOH is the wife.
Comments and discussions are always welcome. I try to respond to each comment, but I am one of those busy *successful* women who find the repose in loving domestic discipline :-)
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Preventative and Maintenance Spankings
Preventative Spankings: the concept isn't new to me but I recently read something that put into words what I had not consciously thought about before. What are they? Do they have a place in a DD relationships? How do they differ from maintenance spankings?
A preventative spanking is a spanking given "just because". It sounds a little uncontrolled and unfair, but it can in fact actually help and strengthen a relationship, control a problem, or simply help with stress or emotional relief. I like good long hard OTK hand preventative spankings. For me, it's a very general kind of spanking. Stress at work, stress in the relationship, pent up emotions, and even hormones can play a role in the build up emotions that often lead to disharmonious or even harmful behaviors. The release that a preventative spanking can give, even if one does not identify with any mounting problem in particular can be, well, preventative. Preventative that one does not escalate to disharmonious or harmful behavior, whether that be towards themselves, the relationship, or their everyday life.
An example of a preventative spanking: Couple A has a loving domestic discipline relationship, where the male is the HOH. On an irregular basis, the woman has an outburst of emotion. After identifying that these infrequent outbursts are caused by months of building up stress from work and outside relational drama. The HOH suggests and they both agree that a weekly preventative spanking will help with stress relief and release. Over time, with the preventative spankings along with developing self-disciplined stress relief coping skills, the outbursts that used to plaque their relationship have decreased greatly. Additionally, the woman can now be cognoscente and recognize when her emotions are building up.
The key term is obviously "preventative", but can that also mean that it has to prevent something specific? Yes, and that crosses over into maintenance spankings. Usually with a maintenance spanking the goal is more discipline oriented (yet not necessarily punitive) in order to serve as a reminder of a behavior that is being worked on.
An example of maintenance spankings: Couple B has a domestic discipline household where the female is the HOH. Because both of them work full time jobs, they decided early in their relationship to share the responsibilities of the house. The husband has a tendency to misplace his priorities which ends up leaving household responsibilities left undone or put off on to his wife. When this happened the first few times, punishment was administered. However, that wasn't correcting the problem on a long term basis. Therefore the HOH implemented maintenance spankings every Monday morning before they went to work to serve as a reminder throughout the week to her husband that he needed to keep up with his responsibilities. Now, punishment spankings have become less frequent and thus improving the harmony in the relationship.
Preventative and maintenance spankings can be a key element in any type of DD relationship. By reducing the escalation in problems and reducing the need for more severe punishment sessions, harmony in the relationship improves and the bond between the couple increases.
A preventative spanking is a spanking given "just because". It sounds a little uncontrolled and unfair, but it can in fact actually help and strengthen a relationship, control a problem, or simply help with stress or emotional relief. I like good long hard OTK hand preventative spankings. For me, it's a very general kind of spanking. Stress at work, stress in the relationship, pent up emotions, and even hormones can play a role in the build up emotions that often lead to disharmonious or even harmful behaviors. The release that a preventative spanking can give, even if one does not identify with any mounting problem in particular can be, well, preventative. Preventative that one does not escalate to disharmonious or harmful behavior, whether that be towards themselves, the relationship, or their everyday life.
An example of a preventative spanking: Couple A has a loving domestic discipline relationship, where the male is the HOH. On an irregular basis, the woman has an outburst of emotion. After identifying that these infrequent outbursts are caused by months of building up stress from work and outside relational drama. The HOH suggests and they both agree that a weekly preventative spanking will help with stress relief and release. Over time, with the preventative spankings along with developing self-disciplined stress relief coping skills, the outbursts that used to plaque their relationship have decreased greatly. Additionally, the woman can now be cognoscente and recognize when her emotions are building up.
The key term is obviously "preventative", but can that also mean that it has to prevent something specific? Yes, and that crosses over into maintenance spankings. Usually with a maintenance spanking the goal is more discipline oriented (yet not necessarily punitive) in order to serve as a reminder of a behavior that is being worked on.
An example of maintenance spankings: Couple B has a domestic discipline household where the female is the HOH. Because both of them work full time jobs, they decided early in their relationship to share the responsibilities of the house. The husband has a tendency to misplace his priorities which ends up leaving household responsibilities left undone or put off on to his wife. When this happened the first few times, punishment was administered. However, that wasn't correcting the problem on a long term basis. Therefore the HOH implemented maintenance spankings every Monday morning before they went to work to serve as a reminder throughout the week to her husband that he needed to keep up with his responsibilities. Now, punishment spankings have become less frequent and thus improving the harmony in the relationship.
Preventative and maintenance spankings can be a key element in any type of DD relationship. By reducing the escalation in problems and reducing the need for more severe punishment sessions, harmony in the relationship improves and the bond between the couple increases.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
A Lost Love & Spanking
Part of loving domestic discipline is knowing when not to discipline. I admit that the past month or so I have done a few things that warrent discipline. However, my loving husband knows what I'm going through and knows that right now just isn't the time.
A couple of weeks ago my best friend passed away. I've been heartbroken and sick with grief. I've tried to get on with normal life, but the reality is that my life just won't be the same.
The thought of receiving discipline right now not only seems wrong somehow, I don't think it would be effective either. My heart and mind are consumed with getting over the loss and I honestly don't know how I'd react to discipline.
I don't even know how long it will be before I "heal". Not that discipline should be stopped, especially since there is no time limit on healing after just a devistating loss. Perhaps getting back into an LDD regiment will help me. I don't know.
A couple of weeks ago my best friend passed away. I've been heartbroken and sick with grief. I've tried to get on with normal life, but the reality is that my life just won't be the same.
The thought of receiving discipline right now not only seems wrong somehow, I don't think it would be effective either. My heart and mind are consumed with getting over the loss and I honestly don't know how I'd react to discipline.
I don't even know how long it will be before I "heal". Not that discipline should be stopped, especially since there is no time limit on healing after just a devistating loss. Perhaps getting back into an LDD regiment will help me. I don't know.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
LDD and The Story of O
I recently watched the movie The Story of O. While this movie is not intended to portray loving domestic discipline I found myself thinking about LDD a lot throughout the movie. I found several elements of the movie that were contray to loving domestic discipline, yet there were some elements, to my surprise, that did relate to LDD.
The elements in The Story of O that I thought related to LDD were quite surprising in relation to the theme of the movie. One theme was that of submission. O was to submit to her lover, to please him, to do whatever he asked. Submission is a bit of a paradox, particularly in and LDD relationship. Submission in the true sense of the word requires very little consent on the person doing the submitting; interestingly enough the submissive one still gets to decide on whether or not they wish to give up that control. It should be noted that the level of submission can be ambiguous and will vary. However, in the movie it was stated that while O belonged to her lover and had to do whatever he wanted her to do, she still had the choice to decide whether or not she belonged to him. So ultimately, in submission, the "sub" still has control.
Another theme in the movie that I thought was relative to LDD is that of love. While O and her lovers' definition of "love" is that of their own, there was still an element of love, care, concern for one another. I think love is an important element in any DD relationship for it to be healthy.
I won't take the time to express my thoughts of how the movie did not relate to LDD as that is not the focus of this post and the opinions of such would be unique to myself and my HOH. But, it has inspired me to write about our LDD story. I will post that story here when I am finished with it and invite you to submit your own story for publication on this blog (with credit given to the author of course). If you'd like to submit your own LDD story, please email me at calikatarina at gmail.
The elements in The Story of O that I thought related to LDD were quite surprising in relation to the theme of the movie. One theme was that of submission. O was to submit to her lover, to please him, to do whatever he asked. Submission is a bit of a paradox, particularly in and LDD relationship. Submission in the true sense of the word requires very little consent on the person doing the submitting; interestingly enough the submissive one still gets to decide on whether or not they wish to give up that control. It should be noted that the level of submission can be ambiguous and will vary. However, in the movie it was stated that while O belonged to her lover and had to do whatever he wanted her to do, she still had the choice to decide whether or not she belonged to him. So ultimately, in submission, the "sub" still has control.
Another theme in the movie that I thought was relative to LDD is that of love. While O and her lovers' definition of "love" is that of their own, there was still an element of love, care, concern for one another. I think love is an important element in any DD relationship for it to be healthy.
I won't take the time to express my thoughts of how the movie did not relate to LDD as that is not the focus of this post and the opinions of such would be unique to myself and my HOH. But, it has inspired me to write about our LDD story. I will post that story here when I am finished with it and invite you to submit your own story for publication on this blog (with credit given to the author of course). If you'd like to submit your own LDD story, please email me at calikatarina at gmail.
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