Firm & Loving Domestic Discipline

Questions on LDD and DD Answered - Part 1

2012-02-10T10:42:00.000-08:00

Hello, I hope everyone had a good week! As I mentioned last week, I was going to do a blog post on the questions about LDD that I have received. Since a large number of additional questions have come in, I'm going to do this in 2 parts to make sure I can answer each question sufficiently. Feel free to email me your questions as I can make this into a monthly blog series. I am not posting these in any particular order and names/tenses/person will be changed for continuity and annonymity.

Question #1: Sometimes I think my husband (wife or partner) disciplines to what I feel is excessive. Should I buck up and take it because s/he is the HOH or should I say something?
I always believe communication is a vital part of any LDD relationship (or any relationship for that matter). Approaching the subject with a sober, honest, and mature attitude is going to be especially important, and should be done when punishment is not happening or about to happen so that you both have a clear head on the matter. There are times when "bucking up" and taking a punishment is part of the LDD process, though this depends on the circumstances surrounding the relationship. For example, have you and your husband (or wife or parnter) already agreed in advance on punishment in regards to certain situations? Have you surrendered yourself, to your husband and to yourself? It is also important for LDD parnters to have discussed all aspects of loving domestic discipline well in advance. "Excessiveness" is a very relative term and can be interpreted in so many different ways. What's important is for you and your husband/wife/partner to discuss what you feel is excessive to each of you.

Question #2: I've read so much about domestic discipline couples having a contract. Should we have a contract in place since we have already started an LDD relationship?
It's important that both of you discuss ahead of time the rules and instances of discipline and that you both have a firm understanding of what these are. If having a written contract will help both of you to keep on track with it, then I say do it. I don't think it is necessary to have a contract in writing, but verbal discussions and regular communication about the random issues that will undoubtably arise through out the course of your LDD relationship is key to making it work.

Question #3: I am pregnant, should we practice domestic discipline? In all honesty, I have never been pregnant so it is hard for me to speak one way or another on the topic. However, given the basics of the human body, if you choose to do so, it will be important to be careful with body positioning and the types of implements in regards to impact and controllability. You may also want to consider using non-spanking/ non-physical forms of discipline. If you feel comfortable enough with the subject, talk to your doctor and see what they recommend. I do not have any medical expertise, but imagine that if I were to become pregnant, spanking implements we would choose would be a short cane, ruler, or thin paddle; positions might include standing with my hands against the wall or hands on the countertop/tabletop. We probably would resort to using non-spanking forms of punishment in the last trimester, at the least. Again, I'm not a medical expert, but hopefully this helps get you thinking in the right direction.

Question #4: Should we use humiliation as part of our L/DD relationship? Hmmm, humilation is a tricky subject. It can certainly be an effective form of punishment. I'll answer you with one question, does humiliating someone convey a message of love, in and of itself? Humiliation is another subjective term to be defined if you do decide to use this as part of discipline in your relationship. There are certainly things that Heinz and I do that some would be mortified with (i.e. corner time) and certainly there are things that we don't do that would not be considered humiliating by some but we do, for us (i.e. enemas).

Question #5: What do you think about having a naughty or punishment outfit? I think it's interesting. I would also wonder what the purpose of using one is. If it gets someone in the right mind-set or focuses them before and during a punishment, then I'm all for it. If it's for added humiliation, it isn't for me. I've never had a specific outfit for discipline, however on a couple of occassions (depending on the circumstances), I have been required to wear a skirt or nothing at all.

I'll contiue these questions in a week or so, but do have another blog post planned for next week.

A Dangerous Method - The Movie

2012-02-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

Last night Heinz and I saw A Dangerous Method. We weren't too sure what to expect, but it looked intriguing, especially since one of the main themes was spanking. My degree is in psychology and Heinz is a big history buff so we already knew we were going to like it. After seeing it, we can honestly say that it was a great movie! It has had mixed reviews, even within the spanking community. We found it to be intellectually stimulating, and the 2 short spanking scenes in it were pretty hot.

I can see why it would get a bad review though. Anyone seeing the movie who is not a spanko just wouldn't understand the psychology behind or the need for spanking that a lot of us have. Even some spankos might not be ready to hear some of the psychology beliefs stated in the movie - even granted that these were beliefs from the infancy of psychology (and have greatly evolved since then).

One point that came across in the movie that struck me as it is something I am familiar with is when Kiera Knightley was talking to her doctor, Carl Jung, she said she was 4 years old when her father spanked her and it excited her. I was not spanked as a child, but I was 4 years old when I saw another kid spanked and it excited me. At that age, kids have not had a chance to "learn" sexual arousal, it's just something that happens when presented with a stimulous. I think this is further confirmation that most (though not all) spankos are hard-wired that way and our stimulous is spanking. I know that may be hard for some people to hear because many spankos don't believe that spanking is a sexual act; and for them, it may not be.

Another point that struck me in the movie was how Kiera Knightley's doctor was not a spanko, at least not in the beginning of the movie before meeting Kiera. I think once he engaged in spanking with her and he saw how exciting it was for her, that became a turn on for him (a learned stimulous). So perhaps there could be hope for vanilla-mixed-spanko couples that they could, if one partner desired, to have a spanking relationship. So many spankos are affraid to broach the subject with their vanilla partner, and understandably so. However, if their partner is open-minded enough to get past the vanilla hang-ups surrounding spanking, their just could be fulfillment - sexual or non-sexual.

Has anyone else out there in the LDD or DD world seen the movie? What were your thoughts? Was there anything that rubbed you the wrong way about it? Was their anything you liked or could identify with?

LDD and DD Questions

2012-01-30T12:55:00.000-08:00

I'll be compiling a list of questions and short answers to common LDD or DD questions over the next week. If you have a specific question or topic you'd like to have addressed you can email me at calikatarina@gmail.com, I will keep all names/identities confidential.

Hormones and Spanking

2012-01-11T10:14:00.000-08:00

For women, and sometimes even for some men, hormones can play a role in pain tolerance level. Personally speaking, this undoubtably affects spanking.

The internet offers very little quality information on this subject - likely because inflicting pain on someone for the purpose of research isn't exactly ethical. There are a lot of opinions out there and some research that studies exercise and pain tolerance level. However, I thought it would be a worth-while discussion, spankee to spankee.

For me, I have noticed that at certain times during my cycle that my pain tolerance is "average" (my average), and other times it is very low and occassionally it is very high.

I work with spanking models on a frequent basis and have noticed the same phenomenom with them. I have also noticed this topic pop up on some of the spanking and domestic discipline discussion boards on the internet; and several other people out there have noticed or experienced the same thing.

So, as a spankee, it is something to keep in mind, but there isn't a whole lot we can do about it. But if you feel that this could be affecting you in a negative way, it is worth talking to your partner about. If you are a spanker reading this post, also keep this in mind when dishing out discipline. Not that you have to go any "lighter" on the bottom, but know that if you were to ease up a bit in compensation that the spanking would have just as an effective impact as if the spankee's pain tolerance was at their normal level. ;-)

Happy Belated New Year!

2012-01-09T08:54:00.000-08:00

We hope you had a great holiday season! Ours was quiet and that was just perfect for us. After a crazy second half of 2011, we needed a little R&R. We were dealing with a lot of vanilla drama and completed 3 moves! I also had a major shoot planned for this past weekend and that took a lot of planning too.

I promise, I will be back to writing this week and Heinz will be writing again soon too.

We're looking forward to what 2012 has in store!

Spanking and Depression

2011-12-12T11:56:00.000-08:00

Now this is an interesting topic: Spanking and Depression. Should one be spanked when they are depressed?

The first point to consider is IF that person who is affected by the depression is in a spanking relationship and/or has consented to spanking for this issue before. If not, then the spanking itself would likely do more harm than good regardless of other considerations.

Even if the person affected by depression is in a spanking relationship, such as a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship, if s/he has never been spanked for depression before, the topic should be discussed before hand and approached gingerly.

The idea of spanking a depressed person can seem inherently wrong at first glance; especially to those who do not understand the adult spanking lifestyle. However, a spanking can help alleviate depression for many, myself included. There are a variety of dynamics going on in a spanking for depression, and I'll try to not go into too much detail (I have a degree in psychology so I tend to ramble on such topics that I have personally experienced).

The first dynamic is a physiological one. When one is depressed, certain neurological processes are also depressed. A spanking (even physical pain in general) can help release endorphins which offer an elated sensation. An endorphin rush can also be obtained through other means, such as exercise as well.

Another dynamic is an emotional/mental one. A spanking can help a person break the cycle of depressed thoughts and feelings. It's sort of a wake up call so to speak.

Additionally, on an interpersonal realtionship dynamic, a spanking for depression can foster a deeper sense of closeness between partners (as long as both parties are consenting to the spanking). It sends a message of love and care almost as if they are saying "I care about you too much to allow this to continue to affect you". It can also send a message of care and concern for the relationship, particularly if the depression is effecting the relationship itself.

All of this isn't to say that spanking is a perscription for depression. However, if you are someone who lives this kind of lifestyle, finds benefit to spanking, it can be a helpful way to deal with depression. I personally have had depression for nearly 20 years. I never sought out a spanking for being depressed or having an excessively bad day with it. Although, my loving husband, has on a few occassions spanked me when the depression was getting unmanageable for me, and once for our relationship. It helped me, and I wanted to share my thoughts and experiences with this topic as I know it is a topic that many people want to discuss, or even consider, but it's not talked about enough in the L/DD community.

Spice Up the Holidays!

2011-12-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

'Tis the season for gift-giving and for a sexy, saucy, sometimes naughty holiday season, you'll definitely want to pick up some of these stocking stuffers!

The Spanko Lotto by PaddlesAndPanties.com makes for a perfect stocking stuffer, if you're feeling lucky! The lotto tickets have a variety of implements, swats, and can be in the favor of the spanker or spankee. These are great fun at a holiday spanking party or to slip into the stocking of your play partner. Or if you know someone who's been naughty all year, these little bags contain lumps of coal! Other great stocking stuffers at PaddlesAndPanties.com include Erica Scott's new book Late Bloomer which is autographed, Misfortune Cookies, panties, and DVD's!

The great spanking holiday gifts go beyond PaddlesAndPanties.com! EdenFantasys.com has great bondage and fetish toys to spice up your holiday season! I got this riding crop from there and it packs a nice sting! And if you're looking for sex toys, Eden Fantasys is the place to shop!

There's also some great stocking stuffers over at http://shop.domesticdisciplinestore.com/ like arnica gel and massage candles. I tried the massage candles out and they are so soothing. Simply light the candle and drip the warm (not hot) oil over your partner's back and massage in.

The sexiest holiday lingerie can be found at Victoria's Secret. I'm loving their Red Hot Holiday collection this year! They have most of their collection in stores, but I have found that their online store has the best selection.

The best quality canes and birch bundles can be found at CanesforPain.com. We have bought several from this site and the quality is unbeatable and the work and beauty that are put into these canes are brilliant. The Crown Jewels collection is stunning and they have a holiday collection as well.

I hope you all have a happy, fun, and safe holiday season! I'll be back blogging next week.

Lifestyle vs. Fetish

2011-11-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

Often domestic discipline, or spanking in general, is lumped into the category of being a "fetish". So does that make us all "kinky"? Not exactly!

A "fetish", clinically speaking, is described as something one must do in order to be sexually aroused or sexually satisfied. That just isn't the case in most DD relationships, even if spanking is incorporated into your sex life.

Most domestic discipline couples live out their relationship with domestic discipline being a fundamental element in the relationship. In other words, they don't just practice domestic discipline for the sake of sexual fulfillment. If for one reason or another spanking and/or love making wasn't a part of your life, the domestic discipline would still go on.

Whether or not one incorporates spanking into sexual play doesn't make it a fetish so to speak. Everybody incorporates something into their sex life that the next person may not. It only becomes a fetish when it is a pre-requesite for sexual arousal/fulfillment.

We don't consider ourselves fetishists, or even "spanko's", rather we consider ourselves lifestylers because domestic discipline is something we live 24-7 and it a fundamental part of our relationship, day-to-day life, and our beliefs.

What are your thoughts on being a "lifestyler", a "spanko", and a "fetishist"?

Product Review of the "Little Pink Paddle"

2011-11-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered how the paddles from "sex toy shops" stack up? Well, we decided to give it a try and let you know! And who better to test these out than the creaters of PaddlesAndPanties.com !?

Heinz and I tested this paddle from EdenFantasies.com:

I have to admit, the reason I chose this little paddle was just too cute and it was pink! When we received it, we could tell that it was well-made and sturdy, though a little smaller in real life than it looked in the picture. We tried it out on several occassions and it packs a nice little sting. I believe the types of paddles that have the letters/words engraved into them are supposed to leave an impression on the skin mirroring the message, but with my tough butt we couldn't get it to do that; but that side of the paddle on skin adds an even nicer sting! The spanker will also find that it is very easy to use.

All-in-all, it's a great play paddle, and you can't beat the price (hint: Eden Fantasies sells this a whole lot cheaper than several other shops and online stores I've seen). The only draw back to this paddle (and as I've noticed with paddles like this), is there is a flat metal reinforcing rod that extends past the handle a bit into the paddle itself.

Other note-worthy points about this paddle is that it is light-weight and small, which of course makes it easy to travel with.

"How do I....?"

2011-10-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

Heinz and I are often posed this question: "How do I....?" "....get my partner to spank me harder", "....get her to cry", "....get him to stop ______", "....get her to listen to me better" - the list could go on, but you get the point.

My, or Heinz', answer always ends up more or less with the common theme of communication. The same questions posed to us are the same questions that need to posed to your partner. Communication is one of the most important ingredients in making a loving domestic discipline relationship work; any relationship for that matter. Since neither Heinz nor I are you or your partner, there is no possible way that we could know what "exactly" works for your relationship.

Turning the "how to get her to listen to me better" to "I really need you to listen to me better so that we can grow in our relationship" is much more empowering for you as well as your partner. Just remember to always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them later! :-)

It's also important to keep in mind that this is a journey. The way things might have worked at one point in the relationship may need to be modified down the road. I'm not necessarily referring to "a woman's (or man's) perrogative", rather, situations and circumstances may change, or you may learn that there's a better way of doing things. Keeping the lines of communication open is going to be your most powerful relationship tool in the L/DD journey.

The Journey to Tears - Update

2011-09-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

I realized the other night a reason, probably one of the most significant reasons, as to why I hardly ever cry during a spanking. I think it's only the tip of the iceberg on this subject for me, but a significant step in getting to that place of release.

The spankings in our household always come from a place of love. They are never given (or received) in anger, haste, or frustration. I not only know this, I feel it. This is why I don't cry.

I have never been on to cry as a result of physical pain. Ironically enough, I used to take really really hard spankings in the first part of our relationship, and before I ever met Heinz. In fact, some of the play sessions I had before I met Heinz would probably be considered extreme in a lot of spankos' eyes. I think that now that there is a connection of deep love, I don't need those types of spankings anymore.

The times I do cry is out of deep remorse for hurting my husband or our relationship for one reason or another (though never intentionally). Which is based on love.
I feel like this is, perhaps, the first part of the "equation" a lot of us are searching for in the quest for release through tears (for tops and bottoms). I wish I could give the other half (or parts) of this equation right now, but I can't - I'm simply not that far along in my journey. I will continue to right on this subject, however. I just wanted to post this as I know many of you (HOH and spankee) are seeking the same thing and I'm hoping this will help you along your journey as well.

Part 2, Male Perspective on Loving Domestic Discipline

2011-09-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

By Heinz Kaufmann

In my last post I wrote about the Loving Domestic Discipline household and what it meant to me, from my perspective. In this post I will go into somewhat more detail as to the normal daily occurrences and it's overall functionality, how the LDD relationship operates on a consistent basis for myself and Katarina.

Consistency is the key and operative word to focus on in understanding our LDD relationship because it is an operative tool in attaining and maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. Through the daily discourse of life there is always business/work pressures, unexpected changes, etc. These are just facts of life. However, on a "consistent" daily basis, in the evening Katarina and I go out on the terrace (regardless of the season) to sit, talk, ad share a cocktail together and simply enjoy each other's company. The pressures of the day are left outside of the household because they have no place here. We have a term for this special and rejuvenating time of the day, we call it the "sundown shoot". It is our time and it is special each and every time. We watch the sunset and share each other's company in fond anticipation of what pleasures the night holds in store for us in our LDD household. Sometimes it may be that I have to administer discipline to Katarina for cause and many other times "spanking" is just for fun, pleasure, and enjoyment to enhance our love making experience. The point of the "sundown shoot" is that consistency doesn't have to only apply to discipline in the relationship.

Respect is another important ingredient in an Loving Domestic Discipline household. Ladies and gentlemen, please pay close attention to this one! I consider Katarina my equal in every single way. In her intelligence, integrity, morality, in her dignity, and professionalism. In all aspects, she is my equal. I just happen to be the head of the household (HOH), and she respects and submits to that. You see, the respect is not only consistent, it is mutual. Between us, it is one of the founding cornerstones of our LDD relationship. Think of it this way, you can work at your profession with people that you may not necessarily "like" or want to have personal friendships with; however, if you are working with someone that you do not "respect", then you can never establish or build Trust - another very important cornerstone to any relationship, LDD or otherwise. In our LDD relationship respect and trust are like the two supporting sides of an equilateral triangle and at its base is love. Build on love, supported by trust and respect. Then the relationship has a complete foundation and the love becomes unconditional. At the center of it all is loyalty. Respect can be "given" in a any relationship by one's position, title, or station in life. However, trust and loyalty are always earned!

That's all for now, I will be sharing other perspectives on LDD relationships again next month. Do let me know if there is a particular topic or if you have a question I can address.

Interview with Afterdark Online

2011-09-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hi, guys! I'm feeling a bit under the weather this weekend, but will be back to writing next week. Heinz has another blog post he's working on as well. In the meantime, be sure to check out my interview with Afterdark Online at http://theafterdarkworld.blogspot.com/2011/09/afterdark-interview-with-spanking-ms.html

Male Perspective on Loving Domestic Discipline

2011-08-05T11:38:00.001-07:00

By Heinz Kaufmann

I would like to provide our readers with my personal perspective on Loving Domestic Discipline; what it means to me and how it is the foundation of the wonderful and loving relationship that I share with my wife, Katarina. First, these are my viewpoints, my statements, philosophies, and beliefs related to LDD and are not intended to be judgmental or imposed on anyone. I am not saying that this is the way that is must be practiced or employed; rather as a learning tool for those who want to learn more about this type of relationship in regards to a real life couple living it.

We should begin with the question: “What is Loving Domestic Discipline”? To answer that question, I first determined for myself what it was not! It is not a means of control, it is not power over your wife or partner, it is not a means of intimidation or something to cause fear in your wife or partner. What LDD is to me is a lifestyle methodology which allows me to fulfill and self actualize my needs and desires, thus achieving my fullest potential in a the loving relationship that I am so blessed to share with the love of my life.

I suppose that many would call me old fashioned. Well, I am! I believe that the man is head of the relationship and the head of the household (HOH). I further believe that in this position there is total responsibility for the HOH to lead, guide, nurture, and support his wife or partner in their relationship. The leadership should always be by example.

There are guidelines established in our relationship. Many of them are very stern. I will not mention these guidelines as they are only important to us. As each LDD relationship, is its own entity and any rules and guidelines should be established by the individuals involved in the relationship. In other words, what works for us may not work for other couples; and what works for other couples, may not work for us. That does not make others right and us wrong, and vice versa; it just makes us all individuals and each relationship unique. Therefore it is important to discuss openly with your wife or partner what each of you expect in the relationship, how what is to be done when those expectations are not met. That is the first and most important step in starting or building any Loving Domestic Discipline relationship! Find what works for you as a couple. Then you can fulfill, provide, devote, and invest the most in your LDD relationship.

In our Loving Domestic Discipline relationship, if these guidelines are crossed or violated, there are indeed consequences. Yes, the consequences result in a good old fashioned hard spanking, strapping, or caning – depending on the infraction and at times, all three are administered to her bare bottom when it is called for. This is never done in hast or anger! In fact, anger is an unwelcomed visitor in our household and does not exist in our relationship. It is my responsibility as the HOH to carry out and administer the punishment when required. My wife accepts this with love because it is given with love, and only draws us closer together. The bond that is formed is nothing short of incredible, and has only fostered trust within our relationship. This is a very important aspect in an LDD relationship. Another very important aspect is respect. I not only love my wife, I highly respect her and treat her with respect. These are the cornerstones of our LDD relationship.

Well, I have talked about punishment when it is required, but what about just spanking in our play. This is another very important facet of our LDD relationship. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s called “foreplay” and only enhances our love making.

These are my prospectives and my experiences in an LDD relationship that I so cherish and feel so blessed by God to share with my loving wife.

Remember, you only get out of life, love, and relationships what you put into them.

All the best,

Heinz

Loving Domestic Discipline and Bondage

2011-07-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

Bondage can have a place in a loving domestic discipline household. It is often misunderstood and associated with dungeons, BMSM, or dark fantasies. The reality is, bondage can be part of domestic discipline, either sexually or for safety purposes during discipline.

Using bondage, or restraints, during discipline is best used to protect the spanker and the spankee from accidentally hurting themselves or the other. Especially if the discipline is intense, the spankee can have a tendancy to sqirm or even kick out of position. In instances as such, a "light" or beginners bondage kit can be used to help the spankee stay in position. Other uses of bondage for discipline can include humiliation or to heighten the experience of the discipline.

For those who practice loving/domestic discpline, or spanking, intermix their discipline with sexual play. In this instance, sex toys can heighten the experience, one of which most commonly used is a bondage kit.

Heinz and I use spanking for fun, for discipline, and often for our sexual experience. We enjoy it all. However, that isn't to say that all LDD households should practice it all. If you feel that one or more aspects of spanking is missing in your relationship, I encourage you to talk to your partner. If you want to try bondage in either aspect of your spanking lives, I suggest starting with the beginners bondage kit such as this one (you can click on the words "bondage kit" in this sentence to see an example). Always practice safe play and safe discipline!

Domestic Discipline - Huh?

2011-06-28T12:08:00.000-07:00

While Heinz is working on his post, I thought I’d write about a topic that seem to generate a great deal of confusion under the umbrella of “domestic discipline”. Taken in Hand, Loving Domestic Discipline, Christian Domestic Discipline, or just plain Domestic Discipline; for me, in the beginning of our relationship I was confused by it all. What’s the difference? Or is there a difference? There is a difference between them all, but just the same they have similarities. They all, in their own ways, relate to some sort of (adult) domestic situation or relationship that involve, most typically, spanking between two consenting adults. In fact, I have come to find that there are more similarities than differences between them all. However, there are some distinct differences worth noting for those of you who were/are just as confused as I was.

Domestic Discipline in itself is used most broadly. It can encompass a variety of scenarios, intensities, beliefs, and styles. Some have told me that “domestic discipline” in and of itself depicts a lack of direction for the relationship or fundamental basis; or for some, harshness or dominance. Well, I suppose that is why the other “types” of domestic discipline saw it important to distinguish themselves.

As I understand it, Christian Domestic Discipline is based on Christian or Biblical values. Taken in Hand is a based on “traditional” roles of the husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. Loving Domestic Discipline has a basis in love. And domestic discipline is a catch-all term or a general way of describing a relationship where punishment is involved without necessarily ascribing to one of the above mentioned variations.

There are so many similarities in all of these variations of domestic discipline that it is difficult to distinguish between them all. I guess the difference lies in what one feels is most appropriate in describing their relationship.

That isn’t to say that those who ascribe to one don’t necessarily rule out the others. For example, in our relationship, there are some very traditional roles in certain aspects of the relationship; there are Biblical foundation to the rules that govern our household. Why we choose to ascribe to “loving domestic discipline” is because there is a large element of mutual love and respect for one another, in addition to these other things. I am never spanked on the sole basis of a religious belief or just because it’s my husband’s place to do so.

So what about the 1950’s Household? I think the difference there extends beyond the aspect of discipline/punishment which sets it apart from the umbrella of DD. Of course, a 1950’s Household can include an element of domestic discipline.

I’m not claiming to be the DD expert, so I’d love to hear your thoughts and perspectives of the differences and/or similarities. I think other readers will appreciate a wide range of understandings and view points as well.

Tampa Tanners Back to School Bash

2011-06-15T09:40:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let you know about an exciting event coming up at the end of summer: Tampa Tanners, a spanko group in Tampa, Florida is having an all-state spanking party August 19, 20, 21! The theme is Back To School and you can find out more information on their website TampaTanners.com .

Heinz and I will be attending! We’re really excited to meet some of the people going as they’ve long been online spanko friends that we haven’t had the opportunity to meet in person. Heinz and I lead such busy lives that we hardly ever get to get out to the spanking parties anymore, so we very excited to be going!

Heinz and I will also be bringing our product line for the vendor fair. PaddlesAndPanties.com will have a booth and toy shop right onsite at the party! So if you’ve ever wanted to check out our products in person, here is an opportunity to do so! There will be the Seat of Education panties, Royal Brat panties, and many more of our most popular panties! Paddles include our most popular such as The Sturdy Hairbrush and The Old School and all of our "Traveler" series. We’ll also be selling aftercare lotions, fresh batches of “Misfortune” Cookies, and other spanko paraphernalia!

This party keeps getting better too because The Spanking Court has confirmed that they are taking the show on the road! The entire Court staff will be in attendance and filming real cases! I’ll be helping with their filming on that Saturday the 20th. The Spanking Court is loads of fun, lots of good spankings, and what they pay the defendants covers the cost of the party! Plaintiffs are compensated too! You can submit your case HERE and just let them know that you’re interested in having your case heard in Tampa.

This is a really big deal for us since we don’t get out much, so I hope to meet some of the readers of this blog there too! If you are going and have a request from PaddlesAndPanties.com that you’d like to see, email me at calikatarina@gmail.com.

If you want more information, here are the websites:

http://www.tampatanners.com/

http://www.paddlesandpanties.com/

http://www.spankingcourt.com/

Busted By The Maids!

2011-06-08T11:11:00.000-07:00

I thought I’d share this rather embarrassing yet funny story with you that happened just a few short weeks ago. I am taking a mental break from writing about LDD this week as I recover from a very long past few weeks and illness.

I’ve always been one to clean my own house. However, we are currently living between 3 houses for various reasons and it’s very difficult to keep up with all of them. My dear sweet husband doesn’t like seeing me clean whichever house we are in at the time, which seems to be an endless cycle. I have vowed to myself to keep the smallest one clean by myself but have enlisted help from a housekeeping company to help keep up with the other two. They come in once a month and I take care of the in between maintenance. I have their schedule plugged into my e-calendar so I know exactly when they are coming. However, there was a change in the schedule at one location that they failed to inform me of. For an otherwise vanilla household this wouldn’t be a problem. Ha! Not so for us.

I am diligent about keeping our spanking lives within the spanking community, as most of us do (though some of my friends and family do know about our lifestyle). Whenever we leave one house or if the maids are due the next day, I am sure to put away our “toys”.

A few weeks ago, we just arrived at the desert house. We got in a bit late after having to go to the grocery store, picked up the mail, etc; though there was still a little time for fun that evening if you know what I mean ;-) The next morning, I got up as usual to start my work (I work from home most of the time). As I passed through the “dungeon” part of our house, which is blatantly located, I realized that the maids were due in 4 days and I set a reminder to ask Heinz to move the heavy furniture back into its hiding place. We had a large black spanking bench that he made out in the corner of the room; a dungeon chair, pink cuffs, and a variety of implements. In the pub part of our house was a cane on the bar and a paddle on the table.

Shortly after getting up, I hear a knock at the door! I don’t normally answer the door if I am not expecting somebody. I hear a voice from the other side yell [company name] Maids! Crap!!!!!!!! Why are they here?!? I open the door and tell them to give me a few minutes to put the dogs up. I scurry around the house and pick up most of the implements laying around, save the cane I missed on the bar and the riding crop that had rolled under the spanking bench! I throw some of my husband’s shirts over the dungeon furniture, as if that’s going to help my situation. I couldn’t move it by myself as both pieces are very heavy. Well, I’m screwed now, I think to myself!

I was longer than a few minutes from letting them in and I apologized when I opened the door. I’m sure they were wondering was I was doing in there! In a nervous haste I tried to cover my bustling activities I’m sure they could hear from outside by saying I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you guys today and we had some friends over last night and the place was a mess. Dumb idea! That would only make matters worse! They bring their cleaning supplies in and they ask me what I want done as they usually do when I am in the house when they come. I try to hide the gigantic spanking bench by standing in front of it and pretending it’s not there!

I decide to cut my losses and run at this point. I tell them that I’ll be in the office as I have a “very important conference call” and they can skip that room today. In all reality, I was just too embarrassed to face them!

As I sit at my computer, I’m really hoping that they’ll be polite about what they see and sort of pretend it wasn’t there like I so desperately tried to do. No luck there! I hear them scoot the bench across the floor to sweep/mop and I sink into my chair. Next, I hear one of the maids holler to the other to come help her; seconds later I hear the chair being scooted out of place! FML!! Our house in the desert is in a small town too, which didn’t help the situation. If this had all gone down in our Hollywood place, no big deal; but here, half the town knows by now.

This was the shortest cleaning job I’ve ever seen and much to my relief it was! I come out of the office and walk into the rest of the house. I notice that the pink cuffs I was unable to detach in time had been placed on top of the bench, the shirt thrown over them had been folded neatly beside them! The riding crop had been stood on end right beside the bench. The cane in the pub had been missed by me in my hasty sweep of the house and was sitting on the bar.

These are the times when I wish I had a hidden camera! I’m sure they got into their car and turned up Rihanna’s S&M song. A few hours later, I talked to Heinz by phone and when I answered his call, I just started laughing! It took me about 30 seconds to be able to spit out the first word to him. The news turned his crazy day around! I told him that if he doesn’t pick up his toys after he plays with them, then he can’t play with them anymore ;-)

I’m still laughing about this incident; I sure hope it brightened your day!

I Know, I Know!

2011-06-05T13:02:00.001-07:00

I promise to be back to the blog this week! Heinz will also be sharing a post, with the male perspective on LDD this month!

The Sexy Side of Spanking

2011-05-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Can LDD couples incorporate a sexy side to their HOH household? I’ve been asked this many times, and in my opinion the answer is yes, as long as both individuals are interested in doing so.

For Heinz and me, we feel it enhances our relationship to include spanking into our intimate life; because we find it enjoyable. While I am able to separate the two “types” of spanking, I find that a sexy spanking, even a hard sexy spanking, can be quite exciting! We often use the same implements that we use in discipline, but have found that adding a “lighter” implement can be tantalizing, like this satin pleasure whip we got from Eden Fantasy’s. An implement like this can be used in more “exciting” areas that can be just as exciting and don’t provide as much impact which would damage these more sensitive parts of the body. What, or where, does that mean? I’ll leave that to you and your partner’s imagination!

OK, so how do you keep the sexual spanking apart from the discipline spanking? Well, first, you need to look at why you want to do that in the first place. Many feel, that if the two “types” of spanking are mixed they lose their effectiveness. Emotions can get mixed, feelings can get hurt, expectations can get confused. Therefore, what is used to maintain the relationship ends up being sexual or what was sexual ends up being unpleasant, nobody wins. However, the key word to notice is “CAN”, they can if you let it. Separating the two won’t be easy for everyone, but for those who can and do, adding an additional side to the spanking equation can bring incredible closeness and fulfillment in your relationship.

Some of you may simply just not like the idea of using such “fetish toys” as it carries a certain connotation or conjures up extreme images. But I encourage you to think outside of the traditional image of spanking. Think of a romantic candle-lit evening with your partner, and just having a sensual implement that can light things up by offering different sensations. I add this image below to illustrate this.

Heinz and I aren’t so much into traditional sex toys but many find these exciting to incorporate too. If the idea of incorporating spanking into your sexual experiences seems almost like a contradiction in terms, then perhaps it isn’t right for you and your relationship. The point is it can be exciting, fulfilling, and it can be a part of an LDD relationship; and I wanted to share this aspect of spanking for those who think it might be for them.

The Journey to Tears

2011-05-10T09:12:00.000-07:00

It finally happened for me. Tears during punishment. A short while back I was beginning to think my tear ducts were broken. I wanted to cry during a punishment so bad. I wanted that release; the release of emotions, of resistance, of guilt. And for the longest time I just couldn't do it. Perhaps I was trying to hard, too psyched up about it to really tap into that part of my brain. Perhaps we were doing it wrong. And I set out on a quest. I even posted here asking for suggestions. Should he chastise me more? Was he not spanking me hard enough? Too hard? Too fast? Not fast enough? But what I didn't realize was that I was going about this all wrong.

In our household, we have a variety of "rules". And if any of you have followed my blog, you'll know that these "rules" are very reasonable and relate to keeping a healthy and harmonious relationship. However, there are two rules that are my husband's prerogative and I respectfully submit to them; and one of these rules I broke, and did so in a major way. Without boring you with the details of the incident, the rule I broke was letting the "F-word" fly....and about 5 or 6 or 7 times in a matter of 60 seconds. I wasn't in a bad mood that day or anything like that, I just don't know what got ahold of my tongue!

I knew I had messed up, and I felt bad about it. Heinz was pretty upset about it, and I knew it. This was the start of a very long 8-hour drive together! Oh bother! It was not easy being in the car with someone you love and with whom you've just upset deeply. He wasn't going to punish me when he was angry though. I always appreciate that about him; and this time it gave me a chance to get over my angry emotions and more receptive to the punishment.

The following night, about 36 hours after the incident, it was time for my punishment. I agonized over the rituals he included (he instructed me on what I had to wear and drove me to a special location to carry out the punishment), but knew they were important and probably aided in bringing me to tears by psychologically prepping me for it.

He chose a light weight sturdy paddle. The swats were very hard, harder than I think I ever experienced from him (at least with that paddle, that I could tell). I cried on the second stroke. He only ended up giving me about two dozen swats by the time I was in hysterics.

What I realized about myself is that the spanking itself, or the pain inflicted from it, does not reduced me to tears. I have a very seasoned butt and given my personality, I don't cry too often from pain. It's the emotional part of a punishment that can reduce me to tears. Further, and more importantly, I realized that it's difficult for me to get into the right frame of mind for a punishment, and I'll be carefully watching this going forward. Sometimes, and as of late, I have been psyching myself up over it. Other times, I have a bit of anger, or disagreement about a situation and I'm too submissive to my husband to admit it. However, in and LDD relationship, it isn't as much about submission as it is about the relationship. And this is the area I need to grow in personally and inter personally.

When I step back into my clinical self, it's obvious that the emotional part of a spanking/punishment is the key. But for me, I now have my head around the specifics and how the "emotional part" relates to me.

When I shared this issue a few months ago, I didn't expect it to turn out so personal and deep. However, I wanted to finish what I started publicly because I knew that there are some out there who were anticipating an update on the quest; and some looking for clues themselves in the quest for tear, which is the reason I share this post with you.

Erotic Spanking Story

2011-04-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

I've always loved writing, but never thought about writing spanking stories or spanking erotica. I have to admit, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be so bold, but thought I'd give it a try to see if anyone likes it; if so, I may post more (fiction and non-fiction).

Check out my erotic spanking story at Afterdark-Online.com !
http://www.afterdark-online.com/Hot&Steamy_Winters_Night.htmhttp://www.afterdark-online.com/Hot&Steamy_Winters_Night.htm

What Constitutes Discipline?

2011-04-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

I have been emailed quite a bit these past couple of months about this topic so I thought it was worthy to blog about: What constitutes a discipline session with your HOH? Well now, that all depends on the relationship, the “rules” (spoken or unspoken), and the two of you as individuals. In short, if you have to ask the question, it’s best to start with an open discussion with your HOH or partner prior to any discipline (or further discipline) takes place. The reason being, that communication with any L/DD relationship is fundamental (any type of relationship for that matter). To read more on communication, click HERE. Neither party can know when discipline is necessary, or potentially necessary, until it has been discussed.

Heinz and I do not have a formal contract written regarding the rules of the house; however, some do find this document helpful. For us, the rules were discussed on a casual type of basis. Not that the subject is casual, rather, we figured our way along the first few months of our relationship based on open and mutual conversations. In fact, some rules are not even included in our relationship because there is no place for such behavior in either of our moral or ethical make up and our respect for each other and life as a whole; so it isn't necessary. For example, neither one of us has ever discussed or considered discipline for things such as failing to do laundry or dishes, spending too much money, forgetting to put gas in the car, or failing to make dinner on time, just as an example for us. That’s because we both recognize that the other person is human and that the overall health of the relationship is what’s important to us. I do get punished if I cause disharmony in the relationship such as allowing my attitude to interfere with our lives (collectively or individually), and a few (our) moral-based things such as swearing or safety-based situations such as driving too fast or climbing on the roof with nobody home. I only list these as an example, not as right or wrong or as recommendations, as everybody’s rules will vary according to each relationship, set of desires, morals, ethics, needs, priorities, and/or goals.

What constitutes discipline will be as individual as the two of you and your relationship. If you aren’t sure or if you feel something is not fair in the relationship, discuss it! For what is right for me and Heinz, may not necessarily be right for you and your relationship. Keep in mind that the health and happiness of the relationship is the goal and rules only help facilitate that.

Self Esteem & Spanking

2011-03-28T13:21:00.000-07:00

Quite simply, a statement was made in a comment string of an earlier post that “EVERY single blog I’ve read of women in ldd relationships ALL have this low self esteem”. For the sake of us all in loving domestic discipline, or domestic discipline, relationships, I wanted to address this comment. I want to address it because there’s probably a lot of people out there that may hold the same belief. If I try to look at an L/DD situation from an uneducated or judgmental point of view, I could see how this could be a belief that would come to mind. However, the truth is, it just simply is not true.

To start, let’s open this up to spankees as a whole. There isn’t a lot of difference between a person who seeks discipline from a mentor or play partner than those in L/DD relationships, other than the type relationship itself.

I believe that spankees, namely those in L/DD relationships, get many things out of being in that type of relationship. The one I want to point out right now is that it provides them with a sense of security. Now, having security in a relationship does not mean that one lacks security in themselves! In fact, I believe that those who choose to be in a relationship that involved domestic discipline have a very healthy self esteem, especially the spankee/bottom/submissive. Paradoxically, spankees must feel secure enough in themselves in order to let go and allow someone else to be in charge. Feeling the need for discipline can stem from a variety of reasons (discussing such is beyond the scope of this post); and are as individual as one’s sexual preferences for example, such as being spanked during sex. Could a low self esteem be one of those reason? Sure. But is it the reason people choose to be in an L/DD relationship? No! That would be as erroneous as saying one needs to be hit for sexual arousal. It’s a blanket statement that does not take into account the persons, reasons for or reasons behind adult consensual spanking. It takes a strong individual who is in touch with themselves to recognize and seek out the fulfillment of this, or any, need – all signs of a psychologically healthy individual.

Now, it is possible for someone in an L/DD relationship to have a low self esteem. Just as someone in a “vanilla” relationship may have low self esteem..... or any other psychological issue. However it is ignorant to draw the conclusion that the two are related or that one precipitates the other.

Besides the sense of security one gets out of being disciplined by their partner or spouse, discipline facilitates a healthy relationship. There is a vast variety of ways that healthy relationships can be facilitated – just look in the relationships section of your nearest bookstore! And perhaps, that’s were some of the readers of my blog need to start if they find that L/DD annoys, angers, or scares them.

Why does discpline in a relationship keep it healthy? Because each person in the relationship knows that the issue has been addressed and they can move on. How many times do we hear about people holding a grudge in their relationship because of one thing or another? Probably couldn’t count the number of times on two hands! With loving domestic discipline, the discipline takes place and loving words, emotions, and gestures follow. Click HERE to learn more about this topic.
I think there are a lot of people out there who have an image of L/DD as domestic violence. This is simply not true for several reasons. Read my last blog post to read about the fundamental differences between the two.
In short, it’s simple: spankees, namely those in loving domestic discipline or domestic discipline relationships do not have low self esteems. The blog I’ve been working on will share a personal experience that relates to this issue. I will have that particular post finished in a few weeks to share with you all.

Spanking ≠ Hitting

2011-03-10T12:12:00.000-08:00

Based on the comment string below in my last post, I’ve decided to address a few misconceptions in the opinion(s) expressed. The first one, of which this post will address, is the statement made about spanking is the same thing as hitting. I’m not blogging about this because one perceivably “bad” comment was made, rather because other readers may be out there who share the same misconception. Loving Domestic Discipline, or Domestic Discipline, is an unfamiliar subject to many, it is easy to have misconceptions – one of the reasons I started this blog was to help explain and educate the adult spanking and non-spanking alike on the subject from a person who lives it.

Humans are logical, creative, and expressive beings. Language is formed and used to express different emotions, intents, and viewpoints. All can be different even derived from the same one event. Keep that in mind as you read on.

Is spanking the same thing as hitting? The answer is no, not really. Let me use an example that is more familiar to people. Look at the words “fucking” and “love-making”. Are these two acts the same? On a basic level, yes, if you only consider that penetration is (likely) to take place. However, the intent, the emotion, the people, and the reasons for each are entirely different. If a woman says she’s going to go “fuck” a guy one night, she is likely implying that she is going to get a physical need fulfilled and that there is little or no emotional involvement or intent in the event. However, if a woman says she is going to make love tonight, she is conveying a message that involves many emotions and intents.

Another example is the words “murder” versus “execution”. The end result is the same; even the intent can be the same in some cases. However, “murder” implies that the event was done outside of the confines of the law, order, and control. “Execution” implies a controlled, sane, legal.

A third example is that of the word “love”. The Greek terms for love are agape, storge, eros, and philia. All of which have different meanings but still refer to some form of “affection”. Loving your wife is much different than the way you love your pet or friend, for example. Like “hitting” versus “spanking”, there is a fundamental similarity; however they all mean different forms or expressions.

The examples above, the same analysis can be applied to L/DD, or even adult spanking in general for that matter. In LDD, there is always control and a different set of emotions and intentions involved. “If a woman gave her consent for her husband to punch her in the face as hard as he could” is that still L/DD? No. A spanking is applied to the butt area, where permanent damage isn’t likely to occur; as opposed to another part of the body that is more vulnerable or vital. Could it still be considered ok if she consented to having her ass only tore up, bleeding, excessively swollen and bruised? No, because that would show a lack of control of the afflicter and a lack of care and concern for the one with the affliction, two key elements in any true L/DD situation. Additionally, when one partakes in extreme affliction, the intentions of such are not likely the same intentions of that of a discipline session in an L/DD situation. However, I am not one of those people so I will not attempt to judge or draw conclusions as such.

If one considered spanking for the sake of their recreational or sexual life, is it true that they are still being “hit”? No, not really. Why? Because in all of it, the difference lies in the intent, emotion, reasons behind, control of, and order of – whether it is sexual, playful, or disciplinary. Does a low self esteem play into any of these reasons? That’s my next post.

In conclusion, if one takes a first glance at adult consensual spanking, there is a perceived similarity to hitting, regardless of whichever form of ACS is being practiced. However, if one takes an intelligent and non-judgmental look at what is actually going on in ACS they will see that there is more than meets the eye.

Tears During Punishment

2011-02-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

If you have followed this blog for any length of time or know me, you'll know that I have a hard time crying during a punishment session. Actually, I almost never cry. This is something I want very badly to be able to do.

I thought I'd share a couple of things that Heinz and I are going to try in case any of you out there are working on or want to work on the same issue. After some introspect, I've identified two techniques that might work - hopefully at least one of them will. Both involve Heinz changing the pace of which is spanks me. The pace, not the intensity, because he already has a heavy hand and spanking me harder might result in severe damage.

The first technique we're going to try is for him to speed up his pace. I believe that, for me, this will not allow for me to have much reaction time and force me to "just take it". This could result in tears for me, or it could send me into subspace. I'm not sure which will occur, but it's worth a try, although subspace is not ideal for crying.

I'm not as confident in the first approach so we're also going to try him slowing down his pace, considerably. We're thinking swift firm swats with about a 3-5 second interval. This will allow for me to fully feel the impact of each swat before the next one lands so that I may make the emotional connection between the sting and the issue at hand.

I wish I could tell you the results of these techniques soon, but I can't "predict" when I'm going to get punished next...... or should I say I can't predict when I'm going to do something that warrents a punishment? However, I will definetly keep you posted on when we try each technique and the outcome. If any of you have found a technique that has helped bring you to tears, please do share! Leave a comment below this post, or if you don't want to share publicaly you can email me.

I am currently working on a blog that I'm hoping to have up in a few days on an issue that is near and dear to me and that a good handful of spankos (and non-spankos) struggle with. It's such a meaningful post that I'm taking my time with it, but hope to share it soon.

Fair Discipline Experience

2011-02-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

Just thought I’d blog real quick about a real incident from yesterday. You see, yesterday was just one of those bad days for me – I woke up that way. Perhaps it was the Monday blues, or perhaps my schedule of late has me run down. Whatever the reason, I was not a happy camper. I won’t bore you with the details of the day’s events, but I will tell you the outcome, and it was NOT a spanking. I have to admit, it probably could have and it would have been justified.

As it all unfolded my husband firmly told me to stop. He lovingly placed his hands on my shoulders and told me to stop right now because I was about 30 seconds away from being taken in hand and over his knee. He told me to go do something that would calm me down. I wasn’t happy about it but I respectfully listened to him. Later in the day, when I had cooled off quite a bit, he told me that we were going to address the morning episode! I thought he was going to spank me, and he would have been justified to do so. But instead, we sat down and talked about the things that were bothering me. Once I had cooled down enough to talk rationally, my husband decided that a spanking wasn’t appropriate….this time. He made it very clear that if an “episode” like that happened again, I would be spanked. My HOH is not only very loving, but he is also very level-headed and fair in disciplining me.

Adult Consensual Spanking: Why?

2011-01-20T11:43:00.000-08:00

I've received two emails from different individuals this past week from people wanting to know "why" are there adults who like to be spanked or give spankings. This blog attracts a lot of readers that are curious about this lifestyle and those who have the desire to be in an L/DD relationship but don't know how to approach their partner about it. I think it would be really great if those of you out there that are in or have been into L/DD to share the reasons why you chose to live in that type of relationship. I'm going to give some of my reasons below as to why I like being spanked as a wife and adult. But I think it would be most valuable to hear from the community on this topic as another's reason or experience may just be what someone can relate to that is exploring this practice.

As for me, I am the spankee in our relationship, my husband is the spanker. For me, it gives me a sense of security that a man would take me over his knee to correct any situation/behavior/attitude that creates "disharmony" in our relationship - anything that could potentially, if allowed to continue, harm the relationship. I think it's a combination of the adrenaline and endorphines that are released during a spanking, the act of being forced to stop and see how I'm acting isn't healthy or helpful, and the sheer fact that my husband cares enough about me to help me to stop and refocus. For me, I never had that before, even on a non-spanking level as a kid or young adult. Of course, I/we enjoy all aspects of spanking, but I'm speaking on specifically the needs and desires that surround the loving domestic discipline side of things. Perhaps there's more to it, and hearing from others might help me as well further discover more about myself.

I now turn the floor over.......

I Spy - Reversed!

2010-12-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

First, thank you to those of you who commented on my last post - I will be incorporating personal experiences into more of my posts, while still offering some substance to this blog. I have another article I am working on for this weekend.

I had to share this experience on here though because I haven't shared it anywhere else (Twitter, FaceBook, etc). A lot of avid spanko's, myself included, like to try to spot other spanko's (typically, the closet ones!); I've even blogged on spotting one before (see August's "Ladies Locker Room" Post). This time, I was the one spotted! I was sitting in the chiropractor's office the other day and this older gentlemen kept looking over at me and smiling. His appointment was ahead of mine, so when he was leaving, I was still sitting in the lobby. As he passses by me, he slows his pace down, leans in toward me, and says "Be good, now, naughty lady!" I was shocked! This is a small town but we are EXTREMELY discreet, so I couldn't imagine it being a neighbor or anything like that. I've asked myself if it could have been a coinsodence. Perhaps, but it just didn't seem likely.

In all honesty, I wasn't embarrassed or weirded it out at the thought of someone seeing me in public. Perhaps that goes back to my teaching days......

Well, anyway, hope you enjoyed the story at least half as much as I enjoyed the situation! I'll have some additional articles up soon. I don't normally go this long without posting something, so I'll leave you with a photo teaser for the next article, up this weekend.

Me or You?

2010-11-11T08:47:00.000-08:00

So when I decided to start a blog, a year and a half ago, I wasn't quite sure what spanking topics to blog about. I wasn't very consistent with it and would even go months without writing. When I went quiet is when the emails started coming in. Apparantly, people were actually enjoying this blog! So I came back, and I really started writing about the one thing I could speak on honestly: living a loving domestic discipline relationship. Now, much to my fulfillment, it is one of the first websites that come up on google searches for loving domestic discipline and domestic discipline! And people in the USA only account for about 1/2 of the readers!

BUT, there aren't a lot of comments left on the posts I write. So I began wondering if people are just stopping by that haphazardly come across the blog. But the answer is no. So this puzzles me. I also began thinking about how the blog isn't really about me. I don't talk about where I'm going, what I'm doing, etc. You can catch all that on Twitter and Facebook, which is where I share my personal side. But a few people have asked me to share some more of my personal self on here and I get an email now and then that just wants to connect with me. All of that is great, I enjoy it and I encourage it. But should I talk more about myself on this blog? Is any of the content that I have been post useful or enjoyable? Should I tell you all more about the sites I'm working with, the sites I own, the trips I'm taking, etc, etc, etc?

Perhaps your wondering 'why even ask if you have one of the most viewed DD blogs?' - I am as well! I just want to know if I should change the content of this blog or not. So, DO let me know your thoughts on this blog, the good and the bad, I won't be offended.

Bratting and LDD

2010-11-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

I've been bratting a little bit lately, but just a little bit. I began to think about how this has a place in LDD....or does it? Perhaps that is how one defines bratting and what the purposes of it mean; OR, what they mean to each partner. If someone is bratting just to get their LDD partner's attention, then it doesn't. In that case, bratting only promotes disharmony in the relationship.

But sometimes, being a brat can be playful, if you are the playful sort when it comes to spanking (not all LDD couples do play with spanking). It could be one of those "come and get me" kind of come-ons; which of course, can lead to lots of fun!

But, then again, sometimes being a brat is an indicator for the HOH. Maybe there isn't any dicord, rather it's a warning sign much like the warning indicator on your car control panel, that says a "hey, something might need to be done here". You see, true spankees or subs in a relationship need constant maintainance or reminders; just as an HOH needs to reinforce his/her position as the HOH in the relationship. "Maintanance" frequency, or intensity, should be defined by each couple. However, it is an important part of a DD/LDD relationship.

If you're a long-time reader of this blog or of my site, you'll know that my husband and I enjoy all aspects of spanking. Therfore, in some cases, I brat out of playfulness. An example of this is when I give my husband a definative "NO" when he "tells" me to do something (i.e. "go get me my belt", in which I say "no" with a raised eyebrow or a sultry kind of voice). Which of course, only adds to the punishment. In this case, the outcome is desirable for both of us: a longer, harder spanking. In my case, I rarely ever defy my husband for anything serious, but sometimes, I can get down or grumpy. These are the instances in which my husband reads as 'ok, something needs to be done about this situation before it escalates'. And true it is! Given my personality, I tend to get depressed; therefore, all I need to snap out of it is a good spanking and perspective change!

If you are reading this as the HOH, keep in mind it is as important to read your partner as it is to read the situation. Ah, the complexities of a "sub"! If you are new to this type of relationship, give it time, and talk to your partner before, during, and espcially after each punishment session. This will help you grow as a couple AND in each of your roles!

I Need a Spanking to Relieve my Stress!

2010-10-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

I don't like going more than a week to update the blog, so for that I apologize. I am completely bogged down and can't even think about what to write! Any suggestions?
I think I need a good stress relief spanking!

Spanking Couples

2010-10-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

As an L/DD couple who makes videos, we are often asked and/or told to incorporate other spankers and spankees into our work to give variety and attract more customers (even from customers themselves!), especially since not all of our videos pertain to L/DD. I do see the appeal of a website having a variety of models, however that is just not us. I’d first like to state that my website is not done for the money. What we do is for sheer enjoyment for ourselves, and those who want to see a real life HOH household. We do run our household this way, but we both also happen to be well-rounded spankos who enjoy all aspects of spanking: for discipline of course, as well as erotic and playful/role-play spankings; and for us, we’re really able to separate discipline from the other. Secondly, once we started publishing our real L/DD videos, we heard from so many individuals and couples alike that our videos really provided consistency and substance for them.

So, ok, why not “play” with other couples? This was a decision we made together very early on in our relationship. Both of us used to “play” quite hard and quite often on the SoCal scene before we met. And when we met each other, it was only a matter of a few months before we decided to become exclusive spanking partners. Discipline and spanking is such an integrated part of our relationship and builds such an incredible amount of love, trust, and harmony between the two of us. We don’t have a desire to change partners.

That has become our personal preference. We don’t think that other L/DD couples who choose to play in and/or outside of the relationship are wrong in their choice. I’d like to encourage them to give exclusivity a chance for a year or so. But not every spanko is wired the same. For some, changing partners enhances their relationship just the same.
I just wanted to state it for the record out there to (1) give readers some food for thought on giving this type of experience a chance, and (2) to state for the record that neither of us are snobs on the subject, or with hanging on “the scene”. We don’t go to too many spanko events, though we would like to, because of the pressure that both of us experience to switch partners or even spanko dispositions. We would love to attend spanking parties and the like for a chance to be ourselves openly, and to interact with and make friends that are also into spanking. We’ve met a handful of other couples out there that feel the same way. Therefore, we are looking to plan a “couples spanking retreat” for later next year where those in the same type of relationship can enjoy a spanking event, meet other couples, be themselves, and not feel the pressure to switch partners. If we have not yet met, and you’d be interested in this type of event, do let me know sooner than later so that we can accurately plan a good location so that not everyone has to travel far. You can reach me at calikatarina@gmail.com. Right now we have 3 other couples interested in attending. Given the small number, we are not looking to buy out a floor of a hotel, rather a ranch or multi-unit vacation rental.

Feel free to comment on this subject as I never claim to know it all and hearing other’s perspective, whether in agreement or disagreement with mine, only enhances this blog for everyone.

Happy spankings and have a great weekend!

Communication: Up Close and Personal with LDD

2010-10-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Our recent poll was on the key ingredients in a domestic discipline relationship. Some of the prominent themes I found on the internet (blogs, articles, forums, videos, etc) included: Rules, Respect, Love, Communication, Dominance, Strict Enforcement, and Casualness. Out of 67 votes, communication came in as the top third voted on aspect. (all poll results are to the right of this article for the remainder of this week).

With Communication ranking #3, I have to admit that I was surprised me to some extent that it wasn’t number 1 or 2, as I think all of the other aspects would be based on communication. I thoroughly enjoy these polls as it lets everyone have a say in what they think about DD/LDD without having to comment on the topics we write here; as well as providing us a tool to write to the readers of this blog.

Having said that, we both wanted to touch more on Communication in regards to the DD/LDD lifestyle as it just so happened to come up just this weekend in our HOH household. Without going into too much detail, Saturday was a whacked out day for me on so many fronts. I encountered one frustration after the other, which unfortunately manifested into a bit of an attitude problem. After a good night’s sleep Sunday morning, my husband and I sat down to talk about what went wrong on Saturday. I first sat down and wrote a letter to my HOH. This letter was to include what I thought should be done in terms of discipline. After reviewing the letter, Heinz and I sat down to talk about the cascading events and my attitude from the previous day. Upon discussion, he not only decided, as the HOH, that discipline was not necessary in this instance (though if it occurred again, there would be consequences!). We talked about how to avoid some of the situations in the future and how these changes would help me improve my attitude.

If my husband had just been overly dominant as the HOH in this situation and had we not talked about the issues at hand, things would have been very one-sided, as well as not much would have improved in the future. Yes, a good hard spanking probably would have kept my attitude in check for some time; however, it would have left me feeling alone, disrespected, and inactive in the relationship, not to mention that the original problems would have been left unresolved and therefore another day like Saturday would have been imminent. Then, my husband would have felt like I was incorrigible and problems in the relationship would have manifested from there. (I know, I’m a “worst-case scenario” type of thinker; but none of it is unrealistic).

Communication is a fundamental in life. It helps us get our basic needs met, function in a job, and enjoy life. Which is the exact reason to not forget it and use it to enhance a DD/LDD household.

Making it Work

2010-09-22T11:12:00.001-07:00

Over the course of the week I get a handful of emails that ask about how to start or make a DD relationship work. I recognize that everybody is unique and there’s no formula to making any relationship work, so I thought I’d offer up how my husband and I make our LDD relationship work as an example.
First off, my husband and I are both spanking enthusiasts – and have been into spanking since we were both kids. Yes, we were both fortunate enough to both be wired this way and we met at a spanking party – a luxury many spankos don’t have. But if you are interested in how we’ve made this “machine” work (for now or in the future), read on.
Both of our roles are clearly defined (point #1). Heinz is most definitely a dominant person and I don’t have a dominant bone in my body! Early in our relationship, we discussed this (communication, point #2). I told him that I did not have an interest in spanking him or anyone else for that matter; and he told me that he felt the same way. We also discussed our beliefs, morals, values, and how all these relate to a DD relationship. Though, all of these conversations did not occur in any specific sit-down, let’s talk, one day event. These were talked about during the first few months of our relationship, whenever a topic would come up in our everyday lives. Also during this time, rules were established (point #3). Some people prefer to list these out or have a formal contract; we did not. As our relationship grew, and trust was naturally built, as it can only be, I would be informed if a certain behavior was not acceptable. Sometimes this was a direct comment towards me and my behavior, and other times I would “notice” when someone else’s behavior was not acceptable to him. Because I love him and respect him, I respect his rules of the house. For a real life example and explanation, check out my last entry on My Discipline Session Diary at the top of this page. I won’t take the time to go into what our rules are right now, as that is not the genesis of this post. But having clearly defined rules is important on a trust level as well as a harmonious level; as a way of preventing behavior that would be damaging the relationship. Rules should be based of each person’s values, beliefs, and relations. Additionally, we both have a great deal of love, trust, and respect for each other in our everyday, non-spanko lives (point #4).
How, when, where, and how much discipline is to take place is as individual as your fingerprint. But this can expand and grow with the relationship as the two of you do. Hopefully, these points that we have followed will provide a helpful perspective if you are building or trying to enhance your L/DD relationship: (1) whatever your roles are as a spanko, they are clearly defined with each other; (2) communicate everything! What you feel, what you believe, your values, ethics, everything in life, not just DD; (3) Define the rules to be followed in the relationship. (4) And of course, ensure that there is love shown, trust given, and respect in all aspects of your everyday life.

Should Domestic Discpline Be Loving?

2010-09-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

Should Domestic Discipline be loving? I think it is important to first look at the goal of adult Domestic Discipline. If you are really not sure at this point, stop and think, if you were being disciplined in your relationship or you were disciplining someone, what would you want the outcome to be? Perhaps the words care, concern, love, trust, harmony, or the like come to mind. All of these words relate to love in some fashion. Ok, devil’s advocate here, could you care for someone, want them to trust you, be concerned over someone or something, or have a harmonious relationship without there being love? Yes. But would you take the time and effort to discipline them if you didn’t love them? Not so likely. The goal of discipline is to have a loving outcome. So it would make sense to make the event loving, would it not? But wait! Making the disciplinary session loving does not mean that you give love pats to someone’s behind. No, no, no! Perhaps, I will rewrite the name of this blog to Firm Loving Domestic Discipline! Because, though there are loving acts and gestures throughout a disciplinary session, it does not mean that one should go light in the discipline. The point of discipline is to provide negative reinforcement to stop an undesirable behavior; and in DD, that behavior is something that would harm or even jeopardize the relationship. So, when administering Firm Loving Domestic Discipline, remember that it is supposed to be both discipline and loving.

Some of my favorite loving gestures from my husband when he’s disciplining me include holding me down so that I do not injure myself during an intense punishment, keeping a watch on my backside to ensure that any permanent damage isn’t being done, rubbing lotion on my well-blistered chafed butt after it’s over, giving me a hug and holding me after my punishment is over, or even handing me a tissue when I start to cry.

Getting Reconnected

2010-09-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

First off, I wanted to say thank you to all of you who wished me well this past week. I got home from the hospital yesterday and still feeling a little rough but A LOT better than I was last weekend! I’m just so happy to be back in my own bed and have computer access! The hospital was totally boring - My TV didn’t work, and a person can only read so many magazines and play so many word games! The highlight of my day was when my husband would walk through that grey door frame. I had a couple of friends and some family stop by, lots of flowers, so I guess it wasn’t all that bad. My mind was hard at work since my body couldn’t be this past week too. I’ve mentally written the next blog post, and am thinking of a mini makeover for the blog. I’m on bed rest still so I’ll have plenty of time to work on things as such. Well, I’m going to sign off for now, and will try to type out that blog post tomorrow. I’m getting a bit sleepy again. I’m amazed at how many muscles it takes to just shower or walk to the bathroom!

Katarina is recovering well

2010-09-06T06:18:00.000-07:00

I’ve been awake all night, worried about my loving wife, and I cannot wait to return to her side in just an hour. On Friday night, Katarina entered the emergency room for extreme abdominal pain and vomiting with 103 degree temperature. The doctors suspected and confirmed with tests that she had a very large kidney stone that had to be removed by surgery. They scheduled her a bed in the hospital and yesterday, Sunday, morning, she went in for surgery. The surgery went very well - no complications at all to all of our relief! She’s in a lot of pain but is recovering well so far. The doctors have her on a liquid diet until they can determine if she can handle solid food. I stayed with her well into the night but had to come home to feed and walk our dogs. I decided to stay a few hours at home to allow her to rest. I couldn’t rest, but to keep myself busy, I decided to log on and figure this thing out. My next task is to upload a video to spankingtube for her! I must say, this was a little bit easier than I expected and I have enjoyed writing this update for you all, so I might just jump on here more often. If you have emailed Katarina, please be patient, I won’t allow her to have her laptop in the hospital (and much to my surprise, they allow it, but only in her area of the hospital). I know she would end up working rather than resting and recovering. She does have her phone and will be offering twitter updates. She loves doing word puzzles so I couldn’t deny her that small pleasure while stuck in a hospital bed. I will try to provide another update later this week, but in case I don’t and you want to check in on her, you can find her at twitter.com/katarinaincali, I’m sure she would love to hear from you.

Heinz Kaufmann

Play vs. Lifestyle

2010-09-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

The Spanko community is a big place, no doubt. It ranges from people who simply like to read about or watch videos about spanking all the way up to people active in spanking. Many out there who engage in adult spanking activities enjoy the occasional “play session”, where they meet up with a spanking partner, have a few hours of fun per month, and go back to living their daily lives. Others, including those who are involved in loving/domestic discipline relationships are “lifestylers”. Spanking is an integrated part of our daily lives and relationships that we cannot separate the two. That isn’t to say that lifestylers share spanking with every person they encounter. Additionally, many lifestylers can and do integrate play into their lives; some with a specified partner, and others with several other spankos. At parties, you’ll encounter both types of spankos; some are there for weekend getaway with fix of spanking, and others are there to enhance….well, their lifestyle. Online, you’ll encounter the entire range of spankos: explorers, kinksters, players, and lifestylers. So why do I blog about this? We, DD/LDD people, are most likely going to be adult spanking lifestylers. Some of which, are so wrapped up in the DD side of things that we forget to “play”. Whether you choose to play inside or outside of your relationship is up to you as a couple, but don’t forget to play. Playing also enhances the relationship by providing fun, bonding moments that accumulate into trust, respect, and love. Uh-ho, I said the “L-word”! Does love have a place in a DD relationship? Well, that’s the topic of my next post. But before I sign off for today, I’d like to place one more thing out there in regards to playing for consideration. Several people that read this blog are not in any or the type of spanking relationship they’d like to be in. So how does playing relate to them? Simple, playing is the easiest way to go in most cases. If you have a partner, say for example, who isn’t into spanking at all, perhaps integrating a softer side of play for now until the time is right to approach the subject with your partner. Try a playful little swat on their behind when you’re joking around with each other. Or, if your relationship is at a sexual level, a sweet little surprise while over your lap with a light and playful couple of little slaps. Or, if you aren’t ready for anything on that level, how about dropping an innuendo to see their reaction? You’ll likely know right away whether the subject is approachable or not based on their reaction. I’ll share a personal experience with you. A lot of spankos not in a spanko relationship think that us who have found each other have it so easy. And in one regard, yes, we don’t have to go through the agony of telling a significant other that we’re into spanking. But as a personal exercise to keep myself in many of my reader’s shoes, AND because I WANTED to, I told one of my closest friends about “the lifestyle”. I thought about how to bring it up with her for weeks, and dropped lots of hints. And for me, when it came down to it, I just said to her “there’s no real easy way to bring this up” and so I just told her “Heinz and I are into spanking”. Her reaction was a relief. At first she was like, “ok….”, and then she was “all ears” as I shared more and more with her. For any of us, in “coming out” (I really hate that phrase! I like to consider it more of a sharing experience rather than coming out with a secret), we have to consider two things first: (1) what is our motivation for doing so? Are you hoping to share an experience with a friend or a lover? Or do you feel compelled to tell them in seeking approval or validation of yourself or desires. And (2) you have to be prepared to accept their rejection of the idea or even you.
Regardless, we enjoy what we enjoy and we all deserve to be happy; that is my hope for all spankos and one of the goals for this blog. Cheers and Happy Spankings!

Who's That Girl?

2010-08-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

The ABC's of Me
A – Apple bottom. At one point, I was told by a few that my spanked bottom looked like an apple.
B - Blue, the color of my eyes, the color of panties I was wearing the night I met my husband, one of the colors in my family crest, and one of my favorite colors
C – Canes broken across my butt to date: 8
D – I love Dogs
E – Eating is the most depressing thing to me, I despise food (regardless of the way I look)
F – Fear of rats/mice and Fear of cockroaches, I can handle the rest
G – I’ve always been a Good Girl
H – I love my Husband beyond belief, and only want to please him
I – I cry when I look in the mirror
J - The most unique Job I’ve had was being a hair model for a music video
K – I taught Kindergarten for four years
L - Over-the-Lap is my favorite spanking position
M – Most Memorable Moment: the moment I fell in love with my husband. And, the day I graduated college.
N – Number of countries I’ve visited: 7
O – I’ve been told by many that I am an Old soul
P – Paddles broken across my butt to date: 9 (+3 more if you include hairbrushes)
Q – I was homecoming Queen one year in High School
R – I’m extremely Rational
S – I’m not a Snob, I’m actually just really Shy; I gave my butt to my husband several years ago, but we still like to have fun and interact with other spanko’s.
T – I was always Teased in school for being super skinny; it wasn’t until health problems developed 2 years ago that I ever hit over 120lbs!
U – I am a University graduate and half way to a Master’s degree; both in Psychology
V – Voted in school “Most likely to win an Academy Award” and “Most Responsible”
W – Worst habit? My iPhone!....and smoking
X – Xanax or Alcohol? Alcohol.
Y – Yard sticks broken across my butt to date: 3
Z – I have a pair of Zebra panties that my husband adores

Spanking Needs

2010-08-23T13:25:00.000-07:00

Everybody involved in adult spanking gets some sort of need met. Some of the top needs met for disciplinary style spankings are (based on personal and other’s experience that I’ve talked to): being able to overcome guilt, overcome a behavior that is unhealthy/unproductive, a feeling of security of being “kept in line”, stress relief, and a sense of self-discipline being instilled. For sexual or erotic spankings, sexual needs are met, or it serves as foreplay. Playful spankings, can serve as a recreational outlet, stress relief, or “personal enjoyment”. I separate out role play spankings from the others because they can serve as any of the above three aforementioned; role play could be utilized for working through an issue from the past, for fun, or for sexy fun! For me, I’m in an LDD marriage, so many of my spanking needs will relate to marriage, and we involve all aspects of spanking into our relationship. For my playful spankings, are a sort of recreational outlet but it also provides a bonding experience between my husband and I. Erotic spankings serve as foreplay for us. And disciplinary spankings do provide a sense of security; but they also promote trust and harmony in our relationship.
I would enjoy hearing from you all which needs you get met during spanking.

Ladies Locker Room Encounter

2010-08-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

Ha! I found a spanko in everyday regular life, just passing by! I've heard a lot of spankos admit, myself included, that they always wonder who just might be a spanko...in the grocery store, at work, on the train...... It's a rare encounter for any of us if at all to run into another spanko in everyday life. But today, I did! I was at the gym, heading into the ladies locker room to change when I saw this girl changing (not that I typically look!) and her panties had a giant red handprint on the back of them (so I couldn't miss seeing them)! I thought, "aha, another spanko, in the very same gym!". I had never seen this girl before but even if I see her again it's not like I can go up to her and say "I caught a glimpse of the panties you were wearing...." But it's nice to know I'm not the only one working out my glutes at the gym!

All Cried Out

2010-08-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

I recently heard this song on the radio, and oldie but a goodie, and it really got me thinking about tears during spanking. What does it take for people to start crying during spanking? Physical pain? Emotional release? Emotional pain? Remorse? Has anyone ever experienced their spanker crying during a spanking?
For me, I'm "all cried out". I mean, sometimes there's a tear or two, probably evoked from a sharp sting. But I find it so hard to have a good hard, releasing cry-fest. My tears ran out a long time ago in life. On a rare occassion I can get them to really flow, but only with a serious punishment, and I have to know I have really disappointed my husband.
I'd like to hear any thoughts, comments, stories, or suggestions on what's worked for you; maybe it'll help me in my quest for more tears.

Growing Up Spanko

2010-07-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

With the release of my new site, we've posted a new video on Spanking Tube and a few other sites. I get real personal in this video because I offered up some home videos from my childhood, while an edited sound clip from an interview I recently did was added as overlay. It's called, Growing Up Spanko and you can see the clip here: http://www.spankingtube.com/watch/e343bbac3e2c01967b09/Growing-Up-Spanko
I know alot of spanko's I've met have talked about how they knew from an early age too that they were into spanking. That's why I believe that this is not a "fetish" and it's just a natural part of a person's psyche - and I get so annoyed when people refer to adult spanking as a fetish. But I guess if one isn't a spanko, they don't understand. Anyway, aside from promo'ing my new site, I hope that the video will reach some exploratory or new spanko's and give them something they can identify with. Once I embraced my needs and wants for spanking well into my adulthood, I became satisfied. Now that I am married to the love of my life and we have a loving domestic discipline household, I feel complete. Whether it is a DD situation or not, I hope every spanko finds fulfillment and happiness in whichever way they choose to spank in.
You can see my new site at www.spankingmscali.com. We have 21 videos up now, most of them new. And we'll be updating the site at the end of each month with 10-15 new videos. I pretty good deal for the price we've set the site at.
Happy spanking to you all!

Great Pic

2010-07-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went to Mammoth Lakes, CA. Beautiful weekend! We went to this German resturaunt for my husband to get a little taste of home. In the bar area, we came across this picture! Oh, it's so much fun being a spanko because it's the little things like this that bring joy to an evening!
But I think about how lucky we are these days to have thousands upon thousands of pictures, videos, and even live webcams of spanking going on around the world 24-7. And a hundred years ago - heck,even 10 years ago when I starting poking around the spanking community- there wasn't much out there for spankos to enjoy and relied on the few daring pieces of art to appreciate.

Survey Says!

2010-07-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all of you who participated in the poll! We have a set of well-rounded spankos here! Eleven readers said that they practiced disciplinary spanking only, 8 readers said that they practice erotic spanking only, 1 reader is into spanking for the fun side of it, and eighteen readers said that they enjoy all aspects of spanking in their lives. Fantastic! I'll have a new poll up soon, but feel free to suggest a topic if there is something you would like to know.

Should Discipline Be Loving?

2010-07-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, what a question! So, should it? I guess that all depends on how one defines "discipline" and how you define "loving". For some, discipline is meant to be a painful experience, no love or caring attached. Probably quite effective in many scenarios as it extinguishes the behavior. In a relationship, I suppose it could go either way and depends greatly on the individuals involved. Some may be ok with the straight up discipline, it's over, then move on. Others, it can be damaging to the relationship if some sort of loving reconnect doesn't occur after the discpline is over. I hate to sound like a broken record, but once again, it all depends on the people involved. I receive several emails a week from people asking me what they should do about a situation or how to make an LDD or DD relationship work in one regard or the other. I always feel a bit disappointed with myself that I can't provide a formula or a "right" and "wrong" answer. But the reality is, unless we're talking about mathematics, there isn't a formula or exact answer for most things in life. However, in my responses back to emails or in these blogs, I do try to give food for thought that allows people to make up their mind for themselves. After all, YOU are the expert in YOU!

Punishment vs Discipline

2010-06-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

Spankos often use the terms punishment and discipline interchangeably. However, in a domestic discipline relationship, the two words can have different meanings. A punishment, by definition, is subjecting someone to a negative consequence to reduce the undesirable behavior. Discipline, can take on a more broad use; it can involve punishment, but in a domestic discipline situation can encompass maintenance spankings, which are usually regularly occurring and for a reason; as well as general random spankings, such as to foster the DD relationship. Discipline can also be used to assist an individual in a general sense of their “need” to be or feel disciplined. All of which have a place in a domestic discipline relationship.

Have You Been Naughty?

2010-06-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

If you have, then you may want to check out this site so that you can send a naughty greeting card to your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, or play partner! www.naughtycards.com has some really cute (and sexy) spanking greeting cards. You have to look under the BDSM section (Boo! Once again, we're miscategorized!). I just sent one this morning to my husband at work and I got a phone call within minutes! Of course, don't send it to someone's work if their employer monitor's their email!! Happy Spankings!

What Happened to the Poll?

2010-06-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

Quick update while I sit under the hair drier at the salon: The poll I had posted in the top right-hand corner of this blog ran into some errors with Google, so I took it down early as it did not seem to be correctable, very unfortunate! The results were based on 20 votes. Readers of this blog (for the three days this poll was up that is) were as follows: 5 readers are married,DD/LDD; 5 readers are single; 5 readers are in a relationship with spanking involved; and 5 readers are in a relationship with no spanking involved. So we've a healthy mix of readers that are interested or curious about Loving Domestic Discipline. I'm being a very good girl these days and updating more regularly! I have lots more to blog about, I'm just tied up this weekend....LOL, no, not literally! I have my other side of modeling to tend to this weekend, I'll be back on Monday and I'll get another poll up as well. Have a happy, safe, and playful weekend!

Book Review: True Spanking Stories, Volume 1

2010-06-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

I recently read True Spanking Storeis, Vol. 1 and found it to be a very enjoyable and fascinating read! I also found it to be different from a lot of other spanking story books I’ve read. These collections of stories are written by everyday people on their current or past experiences with spanking. What I enjoyed most and found interesting was the varied perspectives in which these stories were submitted: the spanker, the “spankee” or the one being spanked, childhood memories, those involved in domestic discipline situations as well as those who engage in erotic and playful spankings in their relationships. The most interesting stories were the ones where people submitted the spanking experiences they witnessed firsthand, and even as innocent bystanders (like the gentleman taking nap in his car in a corner parking lot who saw a mother disciplining her teenage daughter – one of my favorites!).
This compilation of stories also offers its readers descriptive and real emotions, physical sensations, and belief sets accompanies by these emotions. Perhaps there are a lot of good writers out there and this is why their stories were hand-picked for this book. Or perhaps it was a wonderful editing job by Sasha Cave. Each story is virtually unchanged from its original submittal. Only small changes may have been made upon clarification and confirmation by the writers. This is evident by the realness each story offers.
Other reviews of this book have called it a “must-have for spankos”. I can see why and agree! Readers not only enjoy a variety of perspectives, but also almost every scenario, relationship, experience, position, and implement imaginable! Some spankings are hard, some erotic, others playful. Ritualistic, punishment, institutional, domestic accounts are all woven into this wonderful compilation. Have a favorite implement? You’re sure to find an account of it being used, and likely more than once! Some stories have multiple implements used. There is also a wealth of non-spanking punishments found in many of the stories.
Here are the details:
Author: multiple, most residing in the United States and United Kingdom
Editor: Sasha Cave. Cave has authored and edited several books, stories, and articles on spanking and other sexual topics.
Publisher: Nelson & Jones
Format: Soft cover and Kindle
Reading Level: Easy
Where to buy: Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com
Price on Amazon: $14.95 for a hardcopy or $9.95 for the Kindle version

Lunchtime Special

2010-06-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

Gotta love it! My husband called me and told me to meet him at home for lunch. His tone of voice was deep, controlled, and serious....like it always is when I'm about to get a spanking for something! I asked him if everything was ok. His response was not very comforting: he instructed me to change into my red babydoll, put the dogs outside, and he had BETTER find me kneeling on the couch when he walks in the door! YIKES! I thought I was in trouble for sure! Wanna know what happened next.....?

Update on PaddlesAndPanties.com

2010-05-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

PaddlesAndPanties.com is now offering Women's Plus Size's! There's a few styles and more to come! Also, the Lifestyle items just keeps getting more and more fun stuff for the spanking enthusiast!
Aside from what we previously posted, PaddlesAndPanties.com will not be going to FetishCon this year. But be sure to check us out in 2011 at Dom Con and Fetish Con!

Take This Survey!

2010-05-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Hey, guys and gals! Take this quick 10 question survey:

https://spankologytoday.justsurvey.me/537021e66579

It's for a new site that's coming out this summer by a friend of mine, and this is a chance to show them what's important to YOU.

Happy Spankings, Everyone!

Bratting

2010-04-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

For us, I sometime playfully brat, and my husband knows it’s playful by my giggles, my deliberate words, and staring him straight in the eye. But how does real bratting have a role in the LDD relationship? If it is truly a “loving” domestic discipline relationship, bratting shouldn’t have a place. There should be enough respect for the HOH that one wouldn’t want to brat. But does it still occur? And if so, why? Does it mean that there isn’t respect in the relationship? Absolutely not! To really deal with bratting on a deeper level, each couple must look at the incidents that lead up to it. Once key cause could be a lack of communication; perhaps the one bratting is so submissive, that there is an inhibition to effectively communicate their feelings or desires to be spanked. In this case, the HOH should take it upon them self to not only discipline but also sit down with their partner and “dissect” the situation leading up to the discipline. I would be interested to hear what you all have experienced as a possible or actual cause of bratting.....

LDD and Pregnancy

2010-03-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked by a man if he should spank his wife while she was pregnant. He told me that his wife wanted him to but that he had concerns for the health and safety of his wife and the baby. I had to stop and think about this one because I am really not sure! I first told him to consult his doctor if he really wanted to know the physical dangers, as I am not a doctor. My recommendation to all: perhaps trying to incorporate the use of non-spanking forms of punishment during the pregnancy such as corner time or journal writing/apology letters. I also told him to ease back into it and communicate LOTS once the baby was born because a woman's body can change drastically during and after this delicate time in life.
Any thoughts?

Happy Valentines!

2010-02-15T12:21:00.000-08:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentines Day, filled with love and friendship! And if any discipline was involved, I hope it was loving!

The Independent Woman in an LDD/DD Houshold

2010-01-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

The Independent Woman in an LDD/DD Household – Can it work when an independent woman is involved in a domestic discipline relationship? Well, personally speaking, I say yes, however, it could depend on her and/or her mindset of the proposed relationship. If one is comfortable enough to let someone else be in control in a relationship and she is willing to “let” someone else be in charge. This may not hold true for all couples, for example, one party to a couple may not “let” the other be in control, but on some level be “comfortable” with the other partner being in control. Whether it be consciously or subconsciously. It’s a tricky role balance and the limits and boundaries will vary from couple to couple. Open communication and trust play an important role in the start and upkeep of a LDD/DD household. Trust can be built on open communication, and an agreeable amount of understanding of the other partner by both individuals.

We have a new web address!

2009-12-28T10:58:00.000-08:00

CaliSpankings is now Loving Domestic Discipline. Since we are dedicated to providing you with real experiences of a loving domestic discipline household so we've updated our web address to www.lovingdomesticdiscipline.net!
Our next post will take a look at the Independent Woman in a LDD Household, where the man is the HOH. Coming soon!

The Journey of a Spankee

2009-12-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

While my undergraduate degree is in Psychology, I write this from more of a personal experience and would really love to hear your opinions as well.
For me, spanking was something I was interested in since as early as I can remember – at least age 4. My husband was the same way as a child. I always felt that there was something “wrong” with me for liking this, even though I never shared it with anyone. I find that interesting in itself. By the time I reached my late teens, I had hoped but never thought was possible to find a life partner that was into spanking like I was. To me then, spanking was something I desired both for disciplinary purposes as well as sexual purposes. But I thought “adults don’t get spanked”, furthering my self-defeating belief that something was wrong with me; so I suppressed my desires for that sort of relationship. And, actually, for me, I suppressed the need and desire so hard that I inhibited myself from most romantic relationships. In fact, I was a bit of a feminist believing that women should be independent, take care of themselves, and didn’t need to find a life partner. In a near future post, I will be writing about The Independent Woman in a LDD Household as I believe there is still a place for her!
Then, I graduated college, I was on my own and starting a new career! I felt strong as a woman. But, I still had this burning desire surrounding spankings! I decided to read a few stories on the internet, look at a few pictures, then think about it some more. Back then, there wasn’t the amount of quality and variety that the internet holds today on the subject. Most of what I came across was either “brutal Russian” girls getting beat up or little teasers. I did however, find a few stories from Bethany’s Woodshed that involved DD and thought, yeah, that’s what I’m looking for. This brought a little bit of normalcy to it all for me. Still, I didn’t know how I’d go about “getting so lucky” as to meet someone that would lovingly apply discipline in the relationship when it was needed – or even still, if I should even hope for such a relationship! I pondered for many hours how I’d bring up the topic to someone I was dating, anticipating their reactions and what I would do if they thought I was “weird”. I figured, until then, I’ll just find someone to spank me! So I did, I found several willing men! I did what a lot of women today do, and still cringe for my and their safety! Meeting men in warehouses, hotel rooms, and sometimes for a civil cup of coffee first to “check them out”. Not that the men in the spanking community are predators, and the one’s I encountered were not; but one still never knows who might be using spanking as a front to prey on vulnerable people. Luckily today there are social networking sites and interactive personal ads that help people connect a bit before meeting. Anyway, so I met several men and the more tolerable ones I saw on a regular basis for disciplinary spankings. I always made it clear that “this is not sexual for me”. I had suppressed that side of spanking for myself so much that I actually believed it! I wonder how many others have done or are doing the same thing? Although, having the several “casual” spanking relationships that I had, it was probably best for me at the time to leave it as nonsexual. I actually had one man I saw for disciplinary spankings and one for playful spankings! I had compartmentalized the whole spanking thing for myself that it became more of a social hobby for me. And now when I think back on it, the disciplinary spankings were extremely hard, and I could take it, but they weren’t as effective as the loving disciplinary spankings my husband gives me today! I “played” with a number of men over the next several years, living happily with the spankings I got and keeping my true spanking desires tucked away. I even dated “vanilla” men, waiting until I might find the right one that could maybe possibly be into spanking like I was while still be compatible in life areas outside of spanking.
I had met a fantastic group of people in my area that were fun, safe, sane, and into spanking a lot like I was. One lady, we’ll call her Jane, was generous enough to host a spanking party in her condo every few months. Then one November evening a little over three years ago, I met my husband Heinz, and everything changed for me! Heinz wasn’t so sure about going to a “spanking party” but was enticed by a mutual friend of ours to go; he said he had this strange feeling that he should go. So without getting too much into how we met, since this isn’t the point of this post, I do want to tell you one more thing about that night. Heinz invited me into the bedroom where people often went for a little privacy in play. Heinz spanked me very hard, but he also turned my head so I could look in his eyes while he did so. There was an immediate connect! And it scared the living daylights out of me! For a couple of months we played, he pursued, and finally I went to visit him with our friend in Holland where he was living at the time. I fell in love with him there, and that is when I began to reconnect with that side of me that had desired a loving discipline as well as a sexual one. Because there is an emotional connection and love is at the center of all discipline, they don’t have to be nearly as hard as they used to be for me and they now have a behavior-altering and life-altering effect on me.
Why do I share my personal experience? Because I think my experiences aren’t unique. I may be wrong, and I definitely know that not everyone is wired like what I am, but I do think that there are some women out there that may be or have been in a similar place that I was.
I think for some, spanking is playful; others it is purely for discipline; and for some it is sexual. This time, that is not what this post is about. It is for those who want it all! A loving domestic discipline relationship that incorporates the playful, the sexual, and the discipline sides of spanking; it can be done. The two involved in this sort of relationship must first have natural, open communication, and trust – as in any healthy relationship. Then, there is a second level, one where each partner is so in tune with the other that the balance of the three sides of spanking can be found with ease. I don’t think it is something that can be forced but do think it’s possible for partners to be able to connect on such a level that they can distinguish without strain on the relationship between the HOH giving a playful spanking from when they give a disciplinary spanking, and yet again from when it is a sexual spanking.
If you are one of those who practice all three sides of spanking in your relationship, I encourage you to post a comment about your experience and/or advice for those who are seeking this type of LDD relationship. Your experiences may be different or you may have a different point of view that I did not touch on.
If you are someone who is interested but has not yet found this type of relationship, don’t give up searching or sell yourself short as I did.
If you are someone who thinks that spanking should only be for discipline, I encourage you to introspect. Are you denying yourself something that your deeper psyche really wants, as I did? I don’t say that offensively or accusatorily, as I do understand that there are some who disciplinary spankings are what they seek only. I only pose the question for those who may have been like I was, afraid to embrace a deeper side of myself.

Opinions are Like Belly Buttons!

2009-12-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

Opinions are like belly-buttons, everyone has one! And these days, everybody’s got a blog that more or less reflects their opinions. So why do I have a blog and take the time to express my opinion? I don’t feel like my opinion is the right one, rather I hope to connect with other people that are like-minded, as well as express for myself, as well as others, as a means of adding clarity to Spanking, Adult Loving Domestic Discipline, and the Romance of Discipline. Stay tuned for my next post: The Journey of a Spankee, an introspective look at spanking.

Silence Broken

2009-12-27T10:16:00.000-08:00

Hello, all! I apologize for being so silent lately! I'll be posting more regularly, starting today with a new post. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! And I'm wishing you a happy, healthy, prosperous 2010!

Contemplating.....

2009-09-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting by the fire pit, watching the fire blaze, and just thinking of how my tail is going feel like a blazing fire later! Sometimes anticipation is the best part of the spanking....

Back from Tour!

2009-09-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

Ha, not really a tour, but it was a busy time! First stop was New York City! I love that place! Had a little business to do, shot some great films (up on Spanking Tube tomorrow), and met up with Richard Windsor and Pixie of Punished Brats. We toured the city a bit on foot, but it was great just to hang out. Great times!
Then, on to London.... more work to do, then headed to Cotswold in the English countryside for a weekend of fun and meeting up with Mr. and Mrs. Darling (Muffin) from Spanking Tube. We had loads of fun hanging out, eating, and shooting lots of great films! It was a blast! Clips from the weekend can be seen on Spanking Tube (Look for "Bratfest").
We headed home after that with a few more stops for business. But I'm back and will post a lot more often than I have this past 3 weeks! TTYL!

And we're off.....!

2009-09-02T16:26:00.001-07:00

Ok, I'm off to NYC for a couple of days then heading over to the UK. I'll be back on the 17th, so look for some videos shortly after! I'll update as often as possible!

Real Discipline or Spanking for Play?

2009-08-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone! I'd love to hear your feedback on a theme that just keeps popping up all over in my spanko life. Everyone has their own spanking preferences..... hard or lighter, for fun or for real discpline, acted out videos or not acted videos, sexy (erotic) or just spanking, bruised or not bruised, young or old, fat or skinny, and of course.... postions postions and positions. Mr. K and I practice just about all of these because we believe, as I've posted in detail before, that spanking and domestic discipline can have a serious LDD side as well as a fun side.

However, I'd love to hear from any and all of you who visit this blog! You can post comments as a guest too!

A proper English spanking! Cali goes to England!

2009-08-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hi! Well, I'm all booked and ready to head to England! We've rented this gorgeous English country cottage to play in while we're there! While the first part of our trip is for our vanilla business, once that's out of the way, we're heading to the countryside! We'll be sure to film plenty of my proper English spankings! I love to travel and get spanked! The two together, make life blissful! I'll be gone September 3-16, but will keep posts up on here to track this adventure!

Blistered Buns in the Florida Sun!

2009-08-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

My new video is up on Spanking Tube and Clips4Sale.com/30067: Blistered Buns in the Florida Sun! I get spanked on the beach and on the boat! A really fun clip! I'd love to hear from all of the Florida viewers!

Cali's back in Cali!

2009-08-19T16:27:00.001-07:00

Hi, everyone! I'm back from Florida! The trade show was a blast! The first day, my spanko friend and I dressed up as, of course, Naughty School Girls and wore the famous Scream Queen panties - we were the Schoolyard Scream Queens! The second day, we were Naughty Bar Maids featuring the Bottoms Up panties; and Day three, we were Naughty Nurses featuring the Naughty panties (a new line for sale in our online store soon!). Our bottoms got quite a work out demonstrating all those paddles! It was loads of fun! I'll have our Florida videos up soon, titled "Blistered Buns in the Florida Sun!". Right now, you can enjoy a video we shot just before we left for the show. http://www.spankingtube.com/watch/3174269c19e21c07dee6/Watch Enjoy! And happy spanking everyone!

Fetish Con - THIS WEEKEND!

2009-08-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone! The panty and paddle shop have been busy this past week to get ready for the trade show at Fetish Con! We're packed and ready to go! If you are in or around the Tampa, FL area or want a fun weekend getaway, come to Fetish Con and visit me at our PaddlesAndPanties.com booth! Check out this link for details on the conference and tradeshow www.fetishcon.com. I'm offering a "Try Before You Buy" paddle deal - where you can try your paddle out on my behind! (oooh, I've been getting ready for some really hard whacks!)! I'll also be autographing paddles! We'd love to meet some of you!
I've also put together a DVD of my Outdoor Adventure Spankings, set one, featuring California!
If you can't make it to the show, and you'd like to buy a DVD, feel free to email me at calikatarina@gmail.com and I'll give you the PayPal details. Or visit www.paddlesandpanties.com to place your order for a great paddle or a cute spankable pair of panties!
Hope to see you this weekend!
Katarina

Roses and Paddles

2009-08-06T23:54:00.001-07:00

Hi! Today at work, I was feeling a bit down and acting a bit bratty. Mr. Kaufmann sent me home early to get some sleep. When I woke up, he greeted me with some roses! (He's sweet like that). Then, since my attitude was less than par today, he also paddled me! My rosey cheeks matched my fresh cut roses! I have to admit that BOTH put me in a good mood! We filmed it too, and should be up on our site soon!

Cali, Katarina, Cutie... which is it?

2009-07-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

I've received a couple of emails over the past months regarding Cali, Katarina, and Cutie.... people wanna know, "which is it?". Well, here's the explanation: My nickname growing up was Cali, short for California, because I had lived in/out of California a good part of my high school career, the nickname just sort of stuck. My husband calls me Cutie, of course, that's what husbands do! And Katarina Kaufmann is my name; my husband is Heinz Kaufmann. Cali-Cutie got started on Spanking Tube, as when I created an account about a year ago, I didn't put much thought into it and just combined my two nicknames. Mr. Kaufmann and I started to meet people in the scene and some had heard of "cali-cutie of spanking tube". We had such a good response from people that this is where my website came in www.calicutiespankings.com. I had wanted to start a blog to go with the website that gave viewers a more in-depth look at our domestic discipline lifestyle, aside from the calicutie side of things, since calicutie is a combination of our fun side of spanking along with our DD lifestyle. We believe that DD can be fun as well as serious. CaliSpankings blog is dedicated to "the real us" and will remain that way for us as well as for those who also enjoy the DD lifestyle. We enjoy the DD lifestyle so much that we've launched our own line of DD implements! This is a hobby for us, Mr. K is the "paddlemeister" and I'm the "panty mistress" :-) You can visit our products online at www.PaddleAndPanties.com. We wish everyone happy playing, and happy relationships!

A Few of My Pics

2009-07-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

I'm still here!

2009-07-18T23:41:00.001-07:00

Hey, guys! I'm still here! My vanilla life has been a bit rough these past couple of weeks. Mr. Kaufmann and I are working on some more videos and they should be up later this week. Thanks for hanging in there!
Katya

Public Bare Bottom Spanking

2009-07-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

After leaving dinner and drinks last night at a local establishment, Mr. Kaufmann opened my car door and I hopped in as usual. In a blink of an eye, I was flipped over the console of the car receiving a spanking right in the middle of an occupied parking lot! After about 20 good VERY HARD spanks, and much to my mortification, he pulls my pants and panties down, with the car door still open! BOTH sets of cheeks were now blazing red hot as I hear voices nearby and car doors open. He continues to spank my bare bottom. After about 25-30 more spanks, he lets me to sit up, and I see the car (only about 4 empty spaces down from us) pull away slowly as they enjoy the show. He instructs me to keep my pants and panties down around my knees for the ride home. If all of that wasn't embarrassing enough, I am told to walk up the steps to our front door with my pants and panties still down! And to meet him in the bedroom. I obey him as I knew I was already in for a second hard spanking before being sent to bed. And I receive it! Wondering what I did to deserve such a odeal? We had a disagreement earlier in the night. He wouldn't let me live it down and neither would I, so he decided to end it once and for all!
What I night to remember!!!

Spanking Tube's Got Talent! 2009

2009-06-26T15:20:00.000-07:00

Richard Windsor (www.richardwindsor.com, also followed on this blog) is hosting the 2009 Spanking Tube's Got Talent! Mr. Kaufmann and I are participating and we encourage anyone who has a camera to sign up! All types of spanko's are welcome to participate, so visit Richard's blog today and sign up! Or you can email him at houndog_windsor@yahoo.com. Happy spanking, everyone!

Domestic Discipline Lifestyle

2009-06-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Hello, everyone! We just uploaded a video to Spanking Tube illustrating our domestic discipline relationship. We wanted to post a more detailed response here to explain our views for anyone interested in knowing more about Katarina (aka Cali) and Mr. Kaufmann. We understand that DD is not for every couple and may not even appeal to a lot of the overall spanking community. We do not impose our beliefs, we just mearly want to share them with others interested in this type of relationship.
Married at the start of this year, we have been involved in a DD relationship for over 2 and a half years. We believe that DD has a rightful place in our lives. Mr. Kaufmann is the head of the household. He is very respectful and loving about the way he disciplines me and treats me on a day-to-day basis.
Guidelines for a DD relationship have to be set individually. I will not try to spell out what they should be but all do center around respect and love. When I step outside of those boundaries, discpline occurs. We agree with almost all (less a few) views on Adult Loving Domestic Discipline (also posting on Blogger).
In addition to discipline spankings, we both enjoy the art and fun of spanking. Which is why a lot of our videos portray this fun side; We believe that spankings can be fun, playful, and erotic. All types of spankings have their rightful place in a relationship and it is up to each couple on an individual basis to decide where these boundaries lie.
We hope you all enjoy our blog on the subject as well as the videos we produce. We often post videos on Spanking Tube, but you can always view all of them in their intirety on www.calicutiespankings.com in the members area. We also publish a handful of videos on Clips4Sale, studio 30067.
Happy Spanking to you all!

2009-06-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

Coming soon! (like, this weekend) to www.calicutiespankings.com are some feature films with Cali and Katherine St. James! You can view previews at Spanking Tube, look for the users "cal-cutie" and "wwejunkie2006". There's even a film where I spank Katherine ("Amber")! I'm am a confirmed sub, but this was fun. You can also view Katherine St. James' site at www.clips4sale.com/30091 where you can view one or view them all! Enjoy!

Punishment of a Lifetime - Part 2

2009-05-25T12:39:00.001-07:00

My husband thought I needed a little reinforcement yesterday on my "lesson" from Friday. We filmed this one and will be putting it up on Spanking Tube later today - the full-length video will be available on www.calicutiespankings.com later this week!

Punishment of a Lifetime!

2009-05-23T15:34:00.001-07:00

I've been getting spanked for almost 5 years now, and by my husband only since the night we met (about 3 years ago). And my husband usually spanks me almost every day - for fun, play, discipline, shooting films for our site and for Spanking Tube, as well as for punishment. But, last night, I got the punishment of a lifetime! See, the past couple of weeks, I've been getting really stressed out at work and have been short with him (we work together). I haven't even been fully cooperative in my spankings. Finally, enough was enough for him! He told me to stay home from work, and during my day I was to write my HOH a letter. He did not specify the content but being addressed to my HOH, I knew what it should be about. In my letter, I asked him to punish me for my behavior. I told him that to relieve my stress as well as to teach me a lesson, I should be spanked to tears. I did not know what I was in store for when I asked for that! I thought that he'd just be persistant until I cried. Nope, he absolutely punished my backside! After the first stroke of the heavy wooden paddle, I was ready to get on my knees and beg him to stop and assure him I had learned my lesson.... I knew better than to move out of position! After about half way through of about 250 VERY HARD strokes with two paddles, a tawse, a triple cane, and the Scottish rod, I was crying harder than I have ever cried before. My bottom had been thoroughly punished and it was very obvious! Like I mentioned earlier, I have been spanked and spanked hard for years and I haven't bruised in a very long time. But last night, my entire bottom was one big bruise with several smaller splotches and a few nics. I could barely walk, let alone sit down. In addition to the spanking, I wrote 100 times that I would not act like a brat; and had to read them after each stroke of the paddle and tawse. I also had to stand in the corner a couple of times. I can assure him and everyone else that I will not act like a brat ever again! Or at least for a very long time! ;-)
Enjoy my diary of my punishments, filming experiences, and opinions of the lifestyle! I encourage you to join this blog and post back - I'd love to hear what you have to say!

www.calicutiespankings.com

2009-05-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

We're excited to announce that www.calicutiespankings.com is live! Featuring domestic discipline, fantasy, and Cali's Outdoor Adventure spankings! We'll be updating with new videos on a weekly basis! Enjoy!

Greetings!

2009-05-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

Hi, this is Cali with calicutiespankings.com. Welcome to my blog! I am a wife and spanko. My husband and I enjoy spanking and just have fun with making our videos. We're not trying to be professional videographers, we just want to share our experiences with other like-minded people and show that the spanking lifestyle is just plain fun!
Enjoy discussions, free videos, and making friends with like-minded interests in the spanking community. Feel free to email me at calikatarina@gmail.com with any questions, comments, complaints, or if you just want to chat.